dream this morning

 In the dream I was in the back of the bus putting supper together. Now I normally cook all our food on the weekend.  Like roast or smoke a turkey or a couple chickens, and we eat off it all week. 

But people showed up. They showed up to help with the fence, after it was done, in time for supper. Three of them, plus a friend.

I had to give them all our food. I had to open the fridge, smile, and put on a thanksgiving feast, never mentioning that's our week's worth of food and I"ll be scrambling to make it up.

I woke up as one does from a nightmare.

Thought about the story of stone soup. 

I'll retell it quickly.

A beggar man came a knocking on an old woman's door. the woman lived alone at the edge of town in a small house with sparse furnishings.  "Please maam, can you feed me?"  "No, I have only enough for myself, go."  "Please maam, I won't need your food, I have a magic stone, I only need a pot and water and a fire. Please help, I'm starving!"  

She lets him in and gets him the pot. As the pot heats they sit by the fire, the beggar warming himself, the woman getting ever more grouchy as she sees friday's fuel going under a pot of damn water.

"oh" says the beggar, "this soup would taste much better with a bit of seasoning, anything you have to add? I'll share it with you."  Before long he'd cajoled the old women into adding pretty much everything that makes a soup. They had soup.  Story ends.

But it shouldn't. Because it's supposed to guilt the "miserly old woman" when in fact it should guilt the moocher.  he's not coming by on friday with extra firewood.  Nobody's coming by early with extra food, she's going to have to do without to make up for that guy's meal.  

People don't honor the very contracts they demand. That's what that nightmare was. Yet another case of people using the social rules to fuck me over.

And that got me mad enough to decide I'm not going to be nice to the bylaw officer. I'm going to be firm instead. She's going to find out exactly how much this has fucked me up and I'm pissed.  I will most certainly use correct language.

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