The next 50 years

 Gabriola island.  We are here.  It's exactly as difficult as it seems it would be and I'm not surprised about it.  But I am distressed and discouraged.  If not here, where can I go?   We arrived last night. The facebook responses were very positive but now I'm thinking it's more of that canadian hypocrisy. They don't want to seem intolerant and self centered. But a lot of canadians are very much so.  They just know the right phrases to pretend otherwise. As with everywhere in Canada, homeless people are not allowed to exist.  We aren't allowed to sleep in a vehicle or on the street or in a park or doorway, we aren't allowed to exist.  But we do.  So we get hassled for it. I haven't been hassled here yet, but neither has anyone given us useable advice on where we can go. Well, the stupid provincial park where I can pay for the privilege of parking in the darkness doing fuck all.  Too many trees. We got chased around nanaimo alr...

 heh, we did it, we came across the water.  I have left north american soil and am on an island in the pacific.  Granted, still politically connected, and on the continental shelf of Canada, but heck, it feels so cool to be off the continent, and for good this time. I will have to go get my car somehow, but damn, I need to get established here.  See, importing this bus to this province is currently not possible. Much more work needs to be done to accomplish it.  That means maintaining nominal residency back there is needed until I accomplish said repairs.  However, there is now time to work on these things, and to find work also.  Dan found an ad for work that looks really attractive, and is putting out an ad.  I've been on the local listings from the mainland and there is a lot of work around for a man who can move.  "have bus, will travel."  I do need to check listings around here but let's see if that island gig happens, if we are abl...

 I want to quit this area.  It wasn't great feeling with all the trash and permanently stuck homeless people but when I realized there is no way in or out except raw freeway?  Well that tears it. I can't go anywhere on a bike, I don't want to be here.  I don't like the feel of this place.  Is it the general attitude of despair or of stubborn resistance?  Is it that with all this enterprise they still can't seem to get away from here?  I dunno.  Maybe it's too many tarps and winter coming.  I follow my instinct and it screams "go anywhere else."  Plenty of nomads don't make the choice to squat in a homeless camp waiting for the inevitable eviction. My wheels turn, my engine runs, we will leave here. 

 Wow, what a wild road it is, that old #1.  I loved it.  I mean, it was absolutely terrifying at times, but that was part of the good. Best part was all the tunnels with their old entrances, second best was the crazy curves overlooking miles of deep valley.  The part I didn't like was climbing hills.  Poor Mackay had to work so hard.  her manifold gaskets arrived, though. But I'm wondering if we should order head gaskets too and prepare for a bigger rebuild.  there is absolute an oil leak off the main engine block where there's a seam I presume to be the head to block joint. Well anyway, we are in the lower mainland now, so that's amazing.  We are down to a scrap of remaining credit and need to earn some dosh to continue.  It looks promising, lots of ads.  The bus's batteries are getting tired of running the diesel heater. The solar batteries are getting far too little charge to even run the laptop now.  I run the bus periodically t...

 You were born a thief.  You stole your mothers womb to grow and broke your way out expecting 20 years of freebies.  Freeloader!   I posted about my travels, saying I was a freeloader for not paying to camp. I camp in parking spots, truck stops, empty land.  But I got all a whole pile on for it calling me a thief. I don't even understand. I'm "as bad as americans."  I'm "what's wrong with this world."   Well I handled it by deleting the post and leaving the group with the harassment/bullying report.  Thing is, it isn't so easily wiped out of my mind.  I didn't double check to see why they thought I was stealing and what they thought I was stealing.  One guy was "if [our fan base person] camps at a campground he always pays" and I never once showed or mentioned campgrounds.  So huh?  It really felt like I was being called a thief for being a freeloader and I've run into that before.  It may even be a majority opin...

I always talked too much because I didn't know how much information I was supposed to give. I didn't get it that everyone  was lying and would rather not have had to ask in the first place.  They certainly didn't want me to answer the questions.  Whether it's "how are you/things," or something else like that, they actually don't want to hear what I have to say. They feel obligated to ask.  I finally understand, I really actually am not being rude ignoring the question if I launch into one of my own at them. So I'm learning to figure out questions to throw back.  "How are you?"  "Hey, good to see you, is your car still acting up?"  Or whatever.  Leading questions if possible.  Turns out they don't want to carry the conversation any more than let me carry it.  Ohhhhhh, they aren't interested in talking at all, they're probing for paranoia sake.  Am I hazardous to their wellbeing?  So I'm learning to be shallow and dish...

 I have no interest in talking to anyone specifically, but really want to talk out my thoughts on the madness in the middle east. It's safe here. I can't get in trouble for having opinions here.  Nobody comments, and you don't know me and those who do, don't know this blog.  (that's what it's all about, eh?) So first up, let me say I've become an antisemite over the last few years and remembering that the average jewish person is absolutely innocent is a constant need.  I got that way from noticing the credits in all the media that has shaped our world.  I already knew the financial world was a favorite occupation for that community, as well as law, but hey, so what? Doctors too, whatever, if your kid can do the work and you can afford the schooling, it makes sense. No, it was realizing how few of the people in big business media at the top levels weren't jewish origin that kind of freaked me out. Ok, so that's the tone I have in my head, and I do no...

 I don't think I've ever experienced true grief before. Wendel comes close, I still get sad.  But Timmy, OMG, it makes me cry still. I found myself starting to substitute the felt doppleganger I made years ago.  I sniffed his blankets and smelled him and have been crying a little since.   Mind you, crying on a rainy day isn't odd for me.  Rain can as easily bring me down as cheer me up depending on how my state is generally.   Speaking of which, let's go. Bike is returning.  That is something I need to keep remembering, I'm getting something back.  It'll be here by tonight I think. The police found it intact and Dan is on the way to bring it here.   Here is Calgary. I arrived last weekend? I forget, actually.  Friday? Thursday?  Well I've been here nearly a week.  I tried driving around the other day and it was terrifyingly stupid. Whole areas are built designed to prevent large long trucks and similar vehicles f...

 First the house, then the dog, then the bike.  I've lost three very dear things. I am not bereft of shelter, dog, nor indeed, a bicycle, but I am less rich, I suppose you would say.  It feels rotten, anyway.  Plus the bike includes the hitch attachments for two trailers and two baskets and I don't know how replaceable these things will be.  I might be able to fabricate them? Well anyway, that's the place my head is at. Plus it's cold. I did pull my head out of the grave, anyway. Baking cookies was a smart thing to do. It really did lift my spirits. I can call that a ladder rung, building a ladder to climb out of the hole. Today sees me on a street parking in a place that is too busy but seems ignored and therefor ok to park. It's just down the street from the first errand of the morning too. My anxiety is peaking hourly because its so damn cold now and I worry about using the heater and killing the coach batteries. I've got Rene in a warmer outfit now, that hel...