I feel like an ass again
I went to a birthday party at a bar last night. Talking away, realizing I'm talking too much, trying hard to get it right. The person I'm talking to comments that I dominate the conversation and it's not really that fun for her to talk to me while I do that. Then she went out for a smoke and I sat and tried to stem the flow of tears and the urge to flee. When she returned I think I did better but I still felt immense self loathing. It's why I don't have enough friends, after all. I just can't help it. I try so hard but keep failing. I got work done in the yard yesterday, moved kayaks and rocks and things. It's getting closer to ready for the bus. I found a generator at a pawn shop for $400. I was relieved to learn I'd bought a good one as I was going purely on instinct when I bought it. My instincts said it was good, and there wasn't time before closeup to do any proper research. I was worried if I didn't jump on it the opportunity woul...