The next 50 years

Crashing out.  Good phrase, I guess.  Meltdown.  Break down.  Despair is my preferred word. I spent the last six months willfully believing in manifestation and the power of positive thinking.  The house was sold to someone else. Back to even if I had a million dollars I still could not get out of this bus. Winter 3 and I am so over it but it's coming anyway.   I have to start moving around come se 21 unless I find a new lazy spot and there is as much competition as ever but a quarter as much space. What the fuck do I do?  I've exhausted all the charities and I don't fall under their auspices because I neither have children nor an addiction and do not have disability status.  the job center has pretty much just left me free floating with little crumbs of this and that. We have learned my abilities and skills and frankly I think they have less faith in me than i do. I learned last winter that carbon monoxide isn't a real hazard.  They hav...

It's been so long because a lot of my outlet has been through Tik Tok which has been very active and high feedback and reward loop.  So that's ok.  I even got to spend an afternoon with a cool human.  He seems to have shied off again but I won't push it, and maybe it's truly just the usual thing with being involved elsewhere now, nothing personal.  Humans cannot actively compete with fascination in the neurodiverse and it's nothing personal.  Well it's August now.  Last winter, Magick whispered "it is done, relax, be in the now, stop angsting, it's done."  I examined and understood that in fact, i do get what what i ask for.  Sometimes I wait longer, but time after after time now I can look and see how I get my wishes granted like I have a special friend or gift.  The pomeranian dog took till 2024 but in fact happened too, that started age 11.  Significant year, I think. I also started flute then. I also accepted that I had to do life al...