The next 50 years

Ugh, this week I'm getting all the side effects.  Nausea last night had me wondering if I'd be able to even take the anti-nausea pills in the morning.  Every time I got enough bile and saliva in there, up it came again for about 3 hours. I'm blaming the turkey sausages I ate as these are full of assorted additives for flavour and whatever, and very greasy too.  So today I'm sticking with clean simple foods and green tea for my caffiene.  I woke up able to swallow the pills although it got a bit dicey for the first twenty minutes after.  The anti-nausea pill making me nauseous.  Yep. I am feeling really tired today too and my stoma has stopped outputting entirely.  Don't get me wrong, I love not changing the bag, but it gets to where random stinging pains go on in my belly as the hard lumps jostle around unpassed.  That's because I had to quit drinking water by evening yesterday and couldn't take my assorted pills like for laxatives and stuff. ...

I realize posting the idea here means someone might take it, but hey, whomever uses it still has to write the story, right? And two can right from one premise and get two completely different stories.  So while I'd like to be the one that does something with it, I'll risk it's theft.  Besides, getting a book published and selling, it seems to me, more than ever before, is about the same as becoming a pop star, lottery winner, or political leader of a wealthy nation! Okay so here I go thinking. There's the kuiper belt and the Oort cloud out there.  Each is a torus around the sun of gasses, ices, minerals, dirt, and even organic matter.  Yes, yes it is, I kid you not.  Comets, you see, contain organic molecules, ice, (including water ice) and assorted rocks. They are prolific in these two belts, and some, perhaps by some previous impact of something slightly less tuned than the rest, come flying in at weird angles to the rest of the solar system.  Hence why...

I haven't had chemo symptoms to any great degree. When I do, they're a surprise, because of the lack of symptoms, and the fact I'm not currently taking any chemo.  I guess the stuff has effects for days after, but I never read about it or got told, so I don't know that much (yet) about how that works.  Plus which, the flourouracil got cut off half way. Again, seems to me I shouldn't worry about symptoms till the next round?  Not so sure that's correct, though.  I've been doing some research on it. See, I want my weight to be 120-125lbs unless and until I can see that I'm under 15% body fat.  I measure it roughly since I can only pinch an inch here and there, guesstimate the thickness, and put it into a calculator online.  But I did gain fat weight, so I set my fitbit on a losing plan.  The last three days it's been easier to follow once I got the hang of how much to put out each meal.  I'd been used to eating more than I should.  If I was pr...

That fucking business.  I never wanted to be CEO of a fucking corporation and I still am long after resigning.  I still don't understand how in fuck I'm 100% share holder. Now they want crap from the bank from three years ago and I don't even know how to ask for it.  They want me signing more paper as though I'm actually still some fucking CEO and I'm ready to go back to the accountant, pick up the paper, add it to all the other papers we have around the house and burn the whole motherfucking thing in the backyard pit. I'm so over this crap. I don't know what to do.  More paper.  More standing in lines asking for things I don't know how to ask for. They're going to say "what is the account number for that?"  How in hell should I know?  Who do you people think I am?  I'm a fucking housewife, housepainter retired, and maybe an artist if you count utter losers as artists.  So done with this crap but this crap won't let me go.  I'm...

I do wait too long, but it's the longest stretch I've kept it up at all, LOL.  My diaries/logs/journals and blogs in the past all died before a year was out and then went a year or more between entries.  sometimes a spasm of several weeks might be found in the oldest paper diary, every few years.  Most of it was just childish stuff of the usual sort it seems. Maybe I'm old enough to read it again and see. Our desire to read or watch our younger selves comes from a desire to understand ourselves better, right?  Would you agree we're always seeking clarity on how we became who we are right now? So we do retrospective looking.  Using whatever records we made in our lives. I propose this basic desire exists at the universal level. That Deity we all sense, which I like to call Life.  I like to say it's the consciousness of the aggregated existence of all things living.  Well, it's pretty big and has a pretty long life.  Big bang to final whimper, it'...