The next 50 years

I've had an epiphany about bullying. Psychological bullying is worse than physical.  With physical, there are intervals of peace. They hurt you hard and take a break. Whether because they're satisfied or feeling guilty seeing you injured, or because the injuries elicit protection, you get a break.  How long?  Days or weeks I suppose.  Not so psychological bullying.  It's all day every day, everywhere, everyone, and the few people who feel sympathy sit and talk about it all too often. I had a few lights.  Teachers who gave me something else to think about and some quiet space to do it. Not enough, honestly.  It was books that really saved me.  From books I learned about feeling and health and human interactions and character and morals and self esteem and so much more. I learned that hope was important and cheering someone up was valuable and so very much about being a good person.   Well I think that part of my strength today is that the...

i just realized, I'm afraid to have "friends."  Yep.  I feel unable to meet the standards required by people for friendship.  I can't afford the gifts and dinners and parking fees.  I can't keep track of the number of times I need to pony up precious funds for said things either.  I mean, christmas and their birthday is hard enough.  Once a year, sure, if they do the same, but having to remember their wedding anniversaries, special personal event memories, details and names from their family and external friends, and where they've gone to vacation or worked. Nope. It's all in one ear and out the other and I don't know why it's important enough to make it a thing.  Tell me your story, sure, and I'll tell you mine.  However, please do not require me to memorize it and bring it forth to show you how important you are.  in fact, please don't require from me that I show you that you are important.   Nothing is more important than anythin...

Well it turns out I do not have COPD , asthma, etc. at all.  Curious, yes. How then did I wind up coughing day and night, sneezing fits for minutes and taking $200 worth of meds monthly? How indeed. Well to recap, the house had black mold and by the time i knew about it I was too sick to fix it myself.  I still didn't believe it was to blame, the idea of some mould in the corner of my bathroom being a hazard seemed absurd.  Sure, furry walls, but this was just a little corner behind the toilet (not).  Well and there was the cleaning and painting jobs I did, also valid causes of lung and nose issues. So yeah, I didn't question the first asthma attack. I quit smoking that night. (yeah, that too) and it seemed better but the Dr. gave me the rescue inhaler. This I still need, I still have issues when I pant too much.  So as the cancer did it's endocrine work and I got sicker over all, the lung thing just didn't get attention, instead I kept graduating to stronger me...

With Dan easily passing as senior we didn't even have to show ID to get the discounted price at the everything electric show. I like that!  I'm 4 years waiting but he's clearly over 65 so I just asked for 2 senior and we weren't challenged. It's like how as a kid I was getting the under 11 discount right up to age 13. Hehehe I made sure to enjoy my money's worth too, taking any swag they offered and test driving 3 of the 6 brands of car available.  I considered more but I was tired from talking to people. Dan thoroughly enjoyed getting out and was all kinds of pleasant company.  Staying on topic, being patient, interested and involved.  It was the guy I'd married, frankly, and that's all I ever wanted out of him. Well anyway, he really got a kick out of the harbour planes, seabus, the harbour views, the sod roofs, the fancy buildings, and learning to use transit which he has never done before.  I should take him on the trains next time for a fun jaunt to...