The next 50 years

No, not because it's ugly.  I don't care about that.   I'm not embarassed or ashamed, why should I be?  It's not a punishment for bad behaviour so why shame? No, I hate it because it's a bag full of shit dangling off my belly.  that alone I suppose I could learn to live with if I could ignore it for a moment of the day.  I hate it for the following variety of reasons. It stinks.  I don't care that the pros insist they don't stink, it does.  It's faint and I doubt anyone else notices it, but I do. It always stinks, sometimes worse. It runs when I try and sleep.  Oh yes, if I try to sleep at night or trying to nap, that thing will start putting out poop, guaranteed. Now you'll be saying "oh, so what, let it run."  Yeah, uh huh.  See, it does run and it doesn't work as advertised. Nope, the poop comes out, clings to the lump of obscene red flesh that is my "stoma" and piles up against it, contained by the plastic ring of my co...

It's going to be hard and I may fail, but I'm going to try and fast again, indefinitely.  I can't get irrigation to work and I can't live with this colostomy if it's going to keep spitting poo at only the worst possible times. It robs me of sleep, distracts when I'm driving on the freeway and spoils my meals. What have I been doing since the last post?  Well I've been working on the bus periodically. I have long stretches when I can't get anything done because I can't figure out how or because other tasks interfere like buying groceries or cleaning the house. it's come along a bit but I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now. I may get the bus done. I might power through not knowing how to do the electricals or not knowing how to build the storage. Maybe I'll miraculously make the smart car ramp and door. but I won't get it out of the yard I'm sure. Ok, well maybe I'll manage to dig up the fence and drive out and maybe block the...