The next 50 years

 Meddlesome woman.  Sooo, lemme see.  Last summer, well before the camera was installed across the alley, I did indeed add two pallets to a pile assembled by the tenants of the slum house across the alley. Next door to camera Becky.  I use becky as a polite derivation of an impolite name.  This woman has been nothing but nasty towards me and has spouted lies about me at me, in that way people have of trying to make it true by saying it loudly enough.  Mostly I only ever saw the back of her head and I never knew her name. Ok, so she's the one had the fight with me over the brush the city left on the boulevard to whIch I added the rest of the same job for them. She kept trying to tell me to move it myself. Called me nasty things. So the pile in question left last summer.  But this winter, some company digging up the alley left two more behind. I guess he thinks I did those?  I dunno. But this guy comes banging on my door to have it out with me. Tell...

 I was in the insurance agent getting problems sorted out when a woman eight years my junior came in to get her ID replaced.  I heard her private answers to all the questions, feeling awkward.  When came the pont of paying for the ID, I knew before she said it that this was an issue. She looked like she'd been beaten physically on a routine basis all her days.  Not necessarily recently, but she hadn't seen warm water in a long time. She was so tiny and tired and thin too.  I decided I would pay her bill if I could and get her that ID. So when they insisted that she had to pay, and she turned away, I piped up.   She muttered a thanks but it wasn't a gratitude moment, more of a relief in a moment of frustration. Which is all it was meant to be.  Because now the poor woman has to listen to us talk about her in the third person as I quietly try to deal with the praise from the clerks for my generosity. Blah. It wasn't generosity, it was decency. ...

 I've been working diligently and the abalanche of change is well under way.  It will not now stop. However, I have still felt quite frantic having to wait on some things like a medical test next month, frozen food we can't eat that fast, work yet to be done to properly shore up the load in the bus, or even to add better storage.  But I have been driven by the terror of "flight risk" and "seizures happen more in the western provinces."  I can't understand why they'd pick on me so hard but I can't say they wouldn't and if they did, I know they'd show up at 8am or thereabouts, and include a half dozen wary cops as they honestly don't know who's in here or how they're gong to behave.  You bring a locksmith and a couple officious business casual types, definitely at least one female. Well anyway, I don't want that experience. I've been panicking at the sight of police cars and just having trouble sleeping. Well I've be...

 help?  None available as far as I can tell.  Everyone just passes out numbers to everyone else but nobody actually has anything to offer me. Very disappointing, it really is.   I'm assuming it's just a matter of time and I'm trying to finally get the bus on the road. This time Dan is helping.  I am not able to bring much and the effort is exhausting even as I get frantic with fear.  So scared of a home invasion.  They would take the shirt off my back and my ostomy supplies too far as I can tell.  There used to be categories of protected belongings but they wiped it out.  I'm not hiding valuables, everything I have is second hand junk, patched and banged up.  But it's useful junk and I need it to do stuff. I gotta try and keep my doing stuff going.  It's the only hope I have.   It's all so intense.  Grief, relief.  Terror, anticipation.  I keep getting freaked out at how much I have to deal with and dab...

 Oh my the feels. So many feels.  Rage and outrage. frustratino and fear. Excitement and hope. Terror and courage. It just goes on and on bouncing like a box of super bounce balls in a small concrete room. I started reading the Art of War, because it seems this is what the enemy has read. I think it's kind of de rigeur at least for law students.  most rich guys read it. Here's the cool part, though, you still have to be smart to use it. It's designed for bronze age warfare, not modern society.  You have to read past the obvious instructions to the principles and see how your situatino relates.  Like you won't be marching an army up a box canyon any time soon but the idea of trying to capture a strategic passage first might relate. But Lao Tzu is talking literally.  So just because my enemy has read it does not mean he will use it properly.  Nor even that I will get it straight, really.  Here's the curious thing, though, somehow I've already been t...

 yeah, things are evolving rapidly and I am feeling really nervous about whether I'm being watched or what, and what should I do.  For now, I'm packing my stuff into the bus so when I'm inevitably evicted I can hope to have it still.  Not the valuables, those are going immediately to the pawn shop, what little there is.  I did all this two years ago, there's precious little left, really.  But still enough to be a daunting and nervous task.   I keep trying to convince myself that they're not going to execute a home invasion but I keep wondering how that is done and what time frame and spiralling from there, trying to figure out how I should act and wondering if they'll just stick me in a cop car on my handcuffed wrists on a plastic bench for hours. Then I worry about the dogs because nobody can come later to the locked house to collect them,  Oh it all gets to be too much and I think to myself, maybe it's incredibly rare because it's traumatic for ...