peace of mind
Peace of mind is not easy in this century. I sit to catch up on break videos and every other one is "exciting" in some way. Be it americans being oppressed by their militarized police forces or avalanche digging for rescue. From kittens in cement to trailers for action movies. There just is no end to the videos, nested among the cute, inspiring, and hilarious and calming stuff, that ramp one back up. Here's another one. Shot in his driveway. Dammit. Some are too quick even to realize I should move to the next.
Well this is part of my challenge I see, learning to move on when "entertainment" is overstimulating. On the up side, it's later and I have been sleeping through well enough to go to bed 8hrs b4 the alarm instead of padding in 2 hours of restless time. That's one of the things that trying to manage the overstimulation minute by minute will give back, a good night's rest.
This is the thing, see, that you can't see on the wrong side of the equation. When you get just one of the keys in the lock, the rest of the tumblers start to move too. It gets easier to get the rest of it in line. See, when I am calmer going to sleep, I sleep better, I handle stress better, I'm calmer. Then I'm better able to think, to follow through on intentions, to eat better, and all around improve.
How long though till Mr. Hyde pops up over here again and starts baiting me? I really need to spot it quick and cut it off at the pass. To learn to anyway.
Ok, done with the break videos and ready to feed rabbits and brush my teeth for bed.
I worry I might have scratched my enamel trying to clean my teeth myself. I've given up trying to find a dentist I can stand. I couldn't wait any long to clean my teeth. I'll spare you the details but it had to be done and I didn't know how or who to call so I worked on it myself. I'm afraid I may have done some scratching. Not sure, I might simply not have gotten all the dirt off and it seems scratched or I've damaged my teeth. I actualy don't think for sure they're scratched because I took a different tool and cleaned better and they're smooth again. Enamel seems to be pretty damn hard if you're careful and anything that can be scraped off isn't supposed to be there from what I've figured out. Biggest threat is injuring your gums.
Well I hope I"m not wrong because I still don't have a dentist and frankly there's no money nor credit to get one right now. If there was, I'd get my dog in for it. I'd rather buy dentures for myself one day than kill this dog like the last two over not having cleaned his teeth soon enough. At least the last two dogs were both super hard to live with and not very enriching to be around. One stank and soiled the house, the other stank, shed, and wouldn't shut up from morning to noon with a sudden shrill bark that would then go on alarm repeat for just a bit longer than you can stand. I wanted to kill her over that! I held off but when the vet showed me she had rotted teeth (and I know that hurts) it was all the reason I needed to leave her there for the final needle. I felt bad not sitting with her but I was still feeling really fed up with her. I don't think it makes that big a difference to anyone but me anyway. Next time I took timmy to the vet, as he'd come along that day, he got spooked for awhile. I kind of sensed that he knew the last two dogs had vanished there and here was trip number three and then there was one... Well he's okay now, they're always really nice there and I brought him home again. Lady willing, he'll be with me another twenty years! That's why I want to get him into the vet this spring. Sadly, spring is likely to run into summer before the cash is available. The quote wasn't bad though, closer to one thousand than two. The basic price of the general anasthesia was not bad and then it comes down to how much work needs done in there. If there's not much, it's cheap. There isn't much. I know this. He has fewer than normal teeth, they're tiny and simpler in shape (primitive dentition it's called) and they're quite clean compared to most dogs.
Ok, he's wanting bed, it's bed time, the rabbits want fed and I'm feeling sleepy.
Well this is part of my challenge I see, learning to move on when "entertainment" is overstimulating. On the up side, it's later and I have been sleeping through well enough to go to bed 8hrs b4 the alarm instead of padding in 2 hours of restless time. That's one of the things that trying to manage the overstimulation minute by minute will give back, a good night's rest.
This is the thing, see, that you can't see on the wrong side of the equation. When you get just one of the keys in the lock, the rest of the tumblers start to move too. It gets easier to get the rest of it in line. See, when I am calmer going to sleep, I sleep better, I handle stress better, I'm calmer. Then I'm better able to think, to follow through on intentions, to eat better, and all around improve.
How long though till Mr. Hyde pops up over here again and starts baiting me? I really need to spot it quick and cut it off at the pass. To learn to anyway.
Ok, done with the break videos and ready to feed rabbits and brush my teeth for bed.
I worry I might have scratched my enamel trying to clean my teeth myself. I've given up trying to find a dentist I can stand. I couldn't wait any long to clean my teeth. I'll spare you the details but it had to be done and I didn't know how or who to call so I worked on it myself. I'm afraid I may have done some scratching. Not sure, I might simply not have gotten all the dirt off and it seems scratched or I've damaged my teeth. I actualy don't think for sure they're scratched because I took a different tool and cleaned better and they're smooth again. Enamel seems to be pretty damn hard if you're careful and anything that can be scraped off isn't supposed to be there from what I've figured out. Biggest threat is injuring your gums.
Well I hope I"m not wrong because I still don't have a dentist and frankly there's no money nor credit to get one right now. If there was, I'd get my dog in for it. I'd rather buy dentures for myself one day than kill this dog like the last two over not having cleaned his teeth soon enough. At least the last two dogs were both super hard to live with and not very enriching to be around. One stank and soiled the house, the other stank, shed, and wouldn't shut up from morning to noon with a sudden shrill bark that would then go on alarm repeat for just a bit longer than you can stand. I wanted to kill her over that! I held off but when the vet showed me she had rotted teeth (and I know that hurts) it was all the reason I needed to leave her there for the final needle. I felt bad not sitting with her but I was still feeling really fed up with her. I don't think it makes that big a difference to anyone but me anyway. Next time I took timmy to the vet, as he'd come along that day, he got spooked for awhile. I kind of sensed that he knew the last two dogs had vanished there and here was trip number three and then there was one... Well he's okay now, they're always really nice there and I brought him home again. Lady willing, he'll be with me another twenty years! That's why I want to get him into the vet this spring. Sadly, spring is likely to run into summer before the cash is available. The quote wasn't bad though, closer to one thousand than two. The basic price of the general anasthesia was not bad and then it comes down to how much work needs done in there. If there's not much, it's cheap. There isn't much. I know this. He has fewer than normal teeth, they're tiny and simpler in shape (primitive dentition it's called) and they're quite clean compared to most dogs.
Ok, he's wanting bed, it's bed time, the rabbits want fed and I'm feeling sleepy.