oh dear

He's home all day again.
I'm wondering if I should ride my bike downtown, and what I'd do there.  then I think, no, I'll just take the body hit of more stress and stillness, bury my head in the computer, and work on some designs.  I can go another day, poor bunnies will be eating red cabbage for dinner, but we'll be okay one more day. I need to dig some soup out of the freezer somewhere. I don't want to go to the store when he's here because I don't want him to know I'm going.  then there's too much crap to buy, too long a list, and I'm still to mad at him to want to lift a finger on his behalf. He can go suck icicles.
So another day of muscles clenched from stem to stern and eyes puffy and aging.  Damn him anyway.   I miss having a place to retreat into from people who hurt me.  I used to have my own home and nobody who wasn't kind was welcome for long but now an unkind person is paying the bills and I can't raise one red cent of my own.  Sucks to be me.
I always wanted to die young.  Getting a bit late for that one to happen.

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