ADHD argues
So the guy doing my goggles came over and next you know, it's an argument about whether the world is doomed or not. Oh from his POV it's more specific here and there and generalizing it to "the whole world" is unfair. Yet, no matter what topic, he's got an absolute black/white paradigm wherein you'll never heal the problem because the negative shit belongs there.
It's not true! I swear it isn't! I can't prove it, though. But once you know, you get it, it's for realz man, the whole thing is just a big story we're writing and should be righting.
Oh don't get me wrong, it's an important story worth the greatest of our craft! it's OUR story and it's The Only Story that exists! But that's just it, make no mistake, there's no rules we can't eventually learn to break in any direction we choose. Whether we focus on hurtful choices because we're hurting, or healing choices because we see the hurting, we are choosing how the story unfolds, one individual at a time!
What really struck me was how firmly he demanded the floor over and over again to extort his absolute truths. In order to engage the conversation I must take some opposing views or it's just a "sit around nodding about the awful world" session. Why would I engage THAT? To please him? That's like hauling out a bag of cheetos and a bowl of skittles with a side of soda to feed someone because it pleases them. I suppose some folks say "sure" and to them I say "where is your line, when they're sadist?" Mine is a compassionate line that winds up causing fraction and yes, I need to figure out a better way to relate to it.
At any rate, I found myself again becoming quite passionate and I had to pull off and calm myself. He, however, like Dan, didn't want to take it down. He was feeling angry at me for some time even after insisting on a final word on the subject. One which he'd dominated, and started. ADHD, yeah. I think about those people in my world who are like that, starting an argument with trolling level statements of absolutes on a general level, then refusing to let you discuss it generally, while interrupting you at every single opening sentence to tell you correctly. All this when you're supposed to be talking about someting that is not passionate. He did at one point complain that his relationship to his wife isn't working for him. I think I see why. I should try sending him that link I sent Dan and wish him luck with it. Five kids, he's in need of healing, and the sooner the better. He can't walk away, however much he likes to daydream romantically about it
At least Dan's had enough loneliness to know better. Sheesh. But then Lance is now where Dan was then and I suspect the last daughter won't have an intact parental unit to shepherd her through puberty. 37 yrs old. so old, so much yet to suffer and learn. It's a hard time of life attitude-wise. It's when we find our pit, usually. The damn goggles still weren't right and he wanted to be mad at me for that too, as though I should reshape my head for it. I keep making it clear that the whole point here is that my head is oddly conformed and normal shapes just don't work. It's all this hair, you can't tell. A phrenologist would I'm sure though I've never met one and would find the theology part rather tedious. I said if I didn't complain about the discomforts, I'd have a $300 sculpture of goggles that cost too much to throw out and only reminded me that I spent all that money on some leather that cluttters my space. it frustrates me that he has the attitude to discomfort me over wanting them to fit right. I keep saying to him that as an armourer and custom leatherworker this is part of the gig!
We've invested too much in this project to quit it, him in effort, me in deposit. So he just has to keep aat it. Damn, I compliment them. I feed him stuff (today only green tea due to shortages) I really don't expect this attitude! But hey, I am polite enough I"m putting up with it instead of giving him shit for having feelings about things. I don't mention that I can tell he's mad, I mean. I just let him pretend otherwise, catch himself.
Damn, I get so lonely but so often when I get company, I hate the experience!
It's not true! I swear it isn't! I can't prove it, though. But once you know, you get it, it's for realz man, the whole thing is just a big story we're writing and should be righting.
Oh don't get me wrong, it's an important story worth the greatest of our craft! it's OUR story and it's The Only Story that exists! But that's just it, make no mistake, there's no rules we can't eventually learn to break in any direction we choose. Whether we focus on hurtful choices because we're hurting, or healing choices because we see the hurting, we are choosing how the story unfolds, one individual at a time!
What really struck me was how firmly he demanded the floor over and over again to extort his absolute truths. In order to engage the conversation I must take some opposing views or it's just a "sit around nodding about the awful world" session. Why would I engage THAT? To please him? That's like hauling out a bag of cheetos and a bowl of skittles with a side of soda to feed someone because it pleases them. I suppose some folks say "sure" and to them I say "where is your line, when they're sadist?" Mine is a compassionate line that winds up causing fraction and yes, I need to figure out a better way to relate to it.
At any rate, I found myself again becoming quite passionate and I had to pull off and calm myself. He, however, like Dan, didn't want to take it down. He was feeling angry at me for some time even after insisting on a final word on the subject. One which he'd dominated, and started. ADHD, yeah. I think about those people in my world who are like that, starting an argument with trolling level statements of absolutes on a general level, then refusing to let you discuss it generally, while interrupting you at every single opening sentence to tell you correctly. All this when you're supposed to be talking about someting that is not passionate. He did at one point complain that his relationship to his wife isn't working for him. I think I see why. I should try sending him that link I sent Dan and wish him luck with it. Five kids, he's in need of healing, and the sooner the better. He can't walk away, however much he likes to daydream romantically about it
At least Dan's had enough loneliness to know better. Sheesh. But then Lance is now where Dan was then and I suspect the last daughter won't have an intact parental unit to shepherd her through puberty. 37 yrs old. so old, so much yet to suffer and learn. It's a hard time of life attitude-wise. It's when we find our pit, usually. The damn goggles still weren't right and he wanted to be mad at me for that too, as though I should reshape my head for it. I keep making it clear that the whole point here is that my head is oddly conformed and normal shapes just don't work. It's all this hair, you can't tell. A phrenologist would I'm sure though I've never met one and would find the theology part rather tedious. I said if I didn't complain about the discomforts, I'd have a $300 sculpture of goggles that cost too much to throw out and only reminded me that I spent all that money on some leather that cluttters my space. it frustrates me that he has the attitude to discomfort me over wanting them to fit right. I keep saying to him that as an armourer and custom leatherworker this is part of the gig!
We've invested too much in this project to quit it, him in effort, me in deposit. So he just has to keep aat it. Damn, I compliment them. I feed him stuff (today only green tea due to shortages) I really don't expect this attitude! But hey, I am polite enough I"m putting up with it instead of giving him shit for having feelings about things. I don't mention that I can tell he's mad, I mean. I just let him pretend otherwise, catch himself.
Damn, I get so lonely but so often when I get company, I hate the experience!