one of my worries

So he's left most of his things here still.  Including his important papers. 
The judge denied the divorce on account of not having been enough time for Mr. to claim property rights.
There's been a $200 payment dropped in the account to cover the mortgage.
All this could add up to legal evidence of a right to inhabit this house or something equally horrible like forcing me to sell it and give him half the equity.
I don't know him as well as you'd think and I could never figure out if he was stupid or canny, oblivious or devious, or some combination of all.  It was absolutely horrible living with this opaque enemy of a man. 
It's why I've been trying to write it up in a document. But the document is hard to write emotionally. Then, I must re-read it several times to adjust, rearrange sections and delete non-pertinent stuff. All that before I even know what to do with it.  I'm pretty sure I plan to file it at the courthouse with the divorce number on it for a final word on the matter.  I've been deeply mistreated and I fear being framed and railroaded even now.  
sometimes I wonder if I'm just paranoid. That's what gaslighting can do to you. You can't be sure. With no person to bounce it off I don't even have the usual reality check, so it's hard to feel confident. I hold to some truths, and pray it's enough at those moments.
I find myself noticing and interrupting myself when I'm mentally "time travelling" to fight an anticipated future fight, in advance, as if to practice for later.  See, I don't use any of it later.  I don't do that badly later either.  And it does agitate me in the present. But it's a very very old bad habit.  I didn't realize until lately that it wasn't even being used when actually interacting with others.  It's just a waste of energy and a self trauma event I don't need.  So I'm learning to interrupt myself and while I'd like to stop entirely, just noticing and stopping is kind of feeling proud.
Today I took the whole day as a rest day.  Since the world was on a stat holiday it felt safe to just chill and not work on the triggersome paperwork I need for the upcoming trials with disability and possibly divorce court? I just hope I"m right and he can't stand that stuff enough to learn about it.  Well, that's the face he always showed me. Devious deception? I wish I knew. I wonder if I could reopen my psychic channels with a self tarot reading while I wait for my pressure canner to finish? Hmmmmm

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