toilet hog
My husband is a toilet hog. We both get up at 7:30. I make breakfast. By 8am I'm eating and he's usually been in the can 10 mins. By 8:10 I need to use the toilet. I uncover the birds instead. Today I really had to go, so didn't uncover the birds at all, just waited for him to get out. by 8:35am I was down there telling him to vacate. I felt like I was going to shit my pants! Even so it took him a good minute to actually get out and he spent it grumbling and growling about the injustice. So when I got out 3 minutes later (yeah, that's right, a long episode in there is 3 minutes) I gave him 20 minutes of scolding. Who occupies a toilet for a fucking hour, in the morning yet? What the fuck? I know he grew up with an extra toilet in the house for a family of five but why am I being forced to teach him this basic courtesy? Check the damn clock in there and moderate yourself! Take ten minutes out every twenty minutes whether you've been asked or not so you don't force others to be rude enough to kick you out! I was as much angry about having to be so rude as I was about being so discomfited in the first place and then he has the gall to growl at me about it? He does this at 8pm too. Just when it's time to cover the birds, away he vanishes for 30 or 45 minutes into the toilet. Nevermind my plumbing is on the same schedule, somehow I'm supposed to modify it for his programming convenience? Well gee, just get the cover off that shit scheduling module for me and I'll go ahead and modify the switch settings.... Thoughtless asshole.
Now the whole house is agitated because I spent 20 minutes scolding Dan and I'm still tense enough to do manslaughter. So the parrot is making his ugliest noise, the bitch is barking at every tiny thump in the world and the tiny dog is being sad and tense. All because I had to take a shit and that asshole husband of mine has no external awareness. His brain has no facility to remember that others exist outside of his need for them, that their lives are happening and activity and events going on which don't include him or his awareness. I know this by how he treats me like I'm a module device sitting waiting for input. Like some kind of microwave oven on standby, only I'm for ego strokes. Feel bored or lonely? Call out to wife and she instantly turns on and interacts. Done with it? Immediately turn around and ignore wife so she'll go back into sleep mode. Five minutes later we've got a clever thought, wake up wife from sleep mode to tell her! Okay, done, go way now. two minutees pass and another thought! Wife is probably still in "awake" mode, right?
Oh now, game rules changed, wife is in "bitching at me" mode. I don't know how that happens,why do they put that setting in anyway?
meanwhile, in wife's head, she's trying to keep herself occupied but no sooner does she restart the movie and get her head back on track but that prick is expecting interaction again. If she doesn't give it, she'll get the sulky pouter that fumes and thumps and threatens temper. Yeah, I can see how he could inspire domestic abuse. I'm glad he's going back to work today. I can use the time to myself.
Now the whole house is agitated because I spent 20 minutes scolding Dan and I'm still tense enough to do manslaughter. So the parrot is making his ugliest noise, the bitch is barking at every tiny thump in the world and the tiny dog is being sad and tense. All because I had to take a shit and that asshole husband of mine has no external awareness. His brain has no facility to remember that others exist outside of his need for them, that their lives are happening and activity and events going on which don't include him or his awareness. I know this by how he treats me like I'm a module device sitting waiting for input. Like some kind of microwave oven on standby, only I'm for ego strokes. Feel bored or lonely? Call out to wife and she instantly turns on and interacts. Done with it? Immediately turn around and ignore wife so she'll go back into sleep mode. Five minutes later we've got a clever thought, wake up wife from sleep mode to tell her! Okay, done, go way now. two minutees pass and another thought! Wife is probably still in "awake" mode, right?
Oh now, game rules changed, wife is in "bitching at me" mode. I don't know how that happens,why do they put that setting in anyway?
meanwhile, in wife's head, she's trying to keep herself occupied but no sooner does she restart the movie and get her head back on track but that prick is expecting interaction again. If she doesn't give it, she'll get the sulky pouter that fumes and thumps and threatens temper. Yeah, I can see how he could inspire domestic abuse. I'm glad he's going back to work today. I can use the time to myself.