is this me?
It feels so strange to be so weak for so long. I'm using my car to do things better done by bicycle! I got onto that game, Pokemon Go, and I started walking a bit, cycling around downtown, and that was a blast. After about 3 days, though, I had debilitated. It's odd, see, this pain in my butt grows till it's too much to ignore, and the pain steals my energy, but I start the day pretty okay. I go to the park periodically because there's game stops in the park. One is a pokemon go gym, the other end of the park is where the pokestop is. You don't see these things except via the game, but I love the geotagging. it's what makes this game so popular and fun. It is surely the most popular game of all time and it's free to play and all features can be accessed without spending money, if you're patient. The game aims to get you out and moving and I was pleased to do that, but it's just not having the right results. Instead of it gradually getting easier, it's gradually getting harder! Right now I have both a killer headache and a butt ache in spite of taking a tylenol. I was out this morning in the car going around finding stops and gyms. I found 3 red gyms to add my pokemon into but expect they're likely to get beat out before tomorrow morning. I went to some remote locations I knew of which had sites, but didn't luck into a remote empty gym on which to sit. I did buy some strawberries from one of the many growers near here. They didn't say the berries were half off, and they should have only charged half price. I had to turn them into strawberry milkshake to use them at all, they were so far into spoiling. I ruined the shake, sadly, adding some powdered almond milk to increase it's creaminess. It's barely drinkable and kind of awful.
It was really sweet being out of the city. It's the perfect time of year, even if my car is horribly dusty now. Timmy really enjoyed it and is having a very satisfying nap. He was amazed by the cows and horses. We stopped to watch the cows a bit. We saw ground squirrels too. I blew the dog's mind by mimicking each of these animals' calls for him. It was funny to see him stare at me as I did the mooing, hehehe. Staring at the giant gentle beasts and me mooing, hehehe. He's like "how do you do that?" I give thanks for the air conditioning in my smart car. Without it, we simply couldn't have tolerated the drive. As it was, I found myself a bit heat touched anyway. I was supposed to do this drive with Tom but I couldn't yesterday. Frankly it can't be done in an afternoon. Too hot, I'm too tired by then, and the servers get too busy.
it's so weird to realize that just grabbing the bike and popping a few blocks over to do some stuff in the game is asking too much. It's so little compared to me my whole life! yet here's me only aged 52 and I just can't. Tomorrow it's the doctor for the pre-op assessment. I should go find out what that entails. I sure experience a powerful sense of dread and fear every time I think about that surgery, although I suddenly realized, there's also the anticipation of being on the other side of all this, that the surgery may also mark the end of my being sick and the start of my getting well finally.
I dropped off a letter for my lawyer explaining my claim for the asbestos trust. I'd worked in a building where it was constantly sifting out of the walls and it was my job to clean it up. Whether I qualify or not I'll have to wait and see.
Dan has been getting neglectful again. I see why, the dog got sick, then his computer broke, and it's still broken, and that on top of what's already been way more than he willingly faces. He really just doesn't want to and besides has work still. But it means I'm eating lousy again. He doesn't cook enough meat and potatoes. Right now there's just one roasted chicken breast which I'm saving to feed the dog. I pulled out some smoked chicken from the freezer and I'm portioning that out over a couple days. Mostly I'm just getting morning eggs for protien and then the rest of the day is either chips, chocolate, or fruit, and beverages. Dan's too clueless to notice I'm eating wrong even if he knew anything about diet and nutrition to know it's wrong and he's too prickly and bitchy to complain to. I need to get to a store sooner than later and pick up some bbq supplies. I was going to go a few ago, but felt too damn sore. Maybe just go to prairie meats and buy their smoked meat. Get a hundred or so bucks worth and it'll also do me in the hospital. It'll keep in the cooler well alongside boiled eggs and hard cheese. Just have to get 5 days worth of supplies for the hospital so I am fed till I get home. I have 4 more weeks to get it all packed and assembled.
It was really sweet being out of the city. It's the perfect time of year, even if my car is horribly dusty now. Timmy really enjoyed it and is having a very satisfying nap. He was amazed by the cows and horses. We stopped to watch the cows a bit. We saw ground squirrels too. I blew the dog's mind by mimicking each of these animals' calls for him. It was funny to see him stare at me as I did the mooing, hehehe. Staring at the giant gentle beasts and me mooing, hehehe. He's like "how do you do that?" I give thanks for the air conditioning in my smart car. Without it, we simply couldn't have tolerated the drive. As it was, I found myself a bit heat touched anyway. I was supposed to do this drive with Tom but I couldn't yesterday. Frankly it can't be done in an afternoon. Too hot, I'm too tired by then, and the servers get too busy.
it's so weird to realize that just grabbing the bike and popping a few blocks over to do some stuff in the game is asking too much. It's so little compared to me my whole life! yet here's me only aged 52 and I just can't. Tomorrow it's the doctor for the pre-op assessment. I should go find out what that entails. I sure experience a powerful sense of dread and fear every time I think about that surgery, although I suddenly realized, there's also the anticipation of being on the other side of all this, that the surgery may also mark the end of my being sick and the start of my getting well finally.
I dropped off a letter for my lawyer explaining my claim for the asbestos trust. I'd worked in a building where it was constantly sifting out of the walls and it was my job to clean it up. Whether I qualify or not I'll have to wait and see.
Dan has been getting neglectful again. I see why, the dog got sick, then his computer broke, and it's still broken, and that on top of what's already been way more than he willingly faces. He really just doesn't want to and besides has work still. But it means I'm eating lousy again. He doesn't cook enough meat and potatoes. Right now there's just one roasted chicken breast which I'm saving to feed the dog. I pulled out some smoked chicken from the freezer and I'm portioning that out over a couple days. Mostly I'm just getting morning eggs for protien and then the rest of the day is either chips, chocolate, or fruit, and beverages. Dan's too clueless to notice I'm eating wrong even if he knew anything about diet and nutrition to know it's wrong and he's too prickly and bitchy to complain to. I need to get to a store sooner than later and pick up some bbq supplies. I was going to go a few ago, but felt too damn sore. Maybe just go to prairie meats and buy their smoked meat. Get a hundred or so bucks worth and it'll also do me in the hospital. It'll keep in the cooler well alongside boiled eggs and hard cheese. Just have to get 5 days worth of supplies for the hospital so I am fed till I get home. I have 4 more weeks to get it all packed and assembled.