The world needs me
The world really does need me. I used to think God hated me, so I was going to be stuck here till I was 108, or learned to want to be alive. That leaves me thinking, why then are you killing me off? Or maybe not, I mean, it's not spread in spite of it's age and size. Maybe I'm being taught only. But back to the world needs me. I believe that now. I am important, whether they know it or not. I've felt this way before, but not for any definable reasons, just the idea that some day I was going to do something spectacular. Now I am pretty sure nothing I will do will be any more spectacular than what I've done, but that the little things I do are valuable. Like how small species of animals can hold the balance of an ecosystem just going about being alive. I really would like more humans to give a damn and visit me, I dunno. I'm realizing that some of the extreme loneliness is in fact a direct result of my failing health. I went out too little, could tolerate too little energy expenditure, etc. If I had my health back, perhaps I'd be more able to interact enough. A party here, a drop-in there, and meeting people on the streets.
Also, I need to recognize more quickly when I'm being disrespected and argue more forcefully against it. Since part of what has made my life so unliveable is the sheer volume of disrespect I've experienced. I've solved issues around poverty, and even if left on my own in a bus, probably won't suffer from it again. Not like I used to. Or maybe I would. LOL
I do think I need to not wait to start making vlog videos to my channel. I'm going to start with a "how I'm doing" ramble this week. Not today as today I'm going to pick up a metallic curtain. It's prismatic and they sell for $15/ea at a local shop. I'll pick up enough to go across the end of the living room, screening the window and door and giving me a whole wall of sparkle to gaze on.
My skin got a wicked radiation burn two weeks ago so they suspended my treatments for two weeks. I got another this morning. The salve I made is healing like a miracle. equal parts shea butter, olive oil and cocoa butter. replace as much olive oil with argan oil as you can afford. It is better than the olive oil which is there to make it more spreadable. Melt in a double boiler or with care in the microwave. too much heat will damage the oil. Add the argan oil after so it stays unheated. you only need to melt the butters so you can mix the whole concoction. If you need to fight infection, you can add a dash or two of tea tree oil, but it may sting a bit when applied to open wounds. Use sparingly, perhaps set a smaller quantity aside as the stuff kills infection in less than a day. I am very pleased with this gentle healing salve. Use it on all skin complaints including 3rd degree burns. Apply generously and frequently to keep the wound soft and make a barrier to the air. Use cotton or sterile non-stick bandages if you must protect against dirt.
Also, I need to recognize more quickly when I'm being disrespected and argue more forcefully against it. Since part of what has made my life so unliveable is the sheer volume of disrespect I've experienced. I've solved issues around poverty, and even if left on my own in a bus, probably won't suffer from it again. Not like I used to. Or maybe I would. LOL
I do think I need to not wait to start making vlog videos to my channel. I'm going to start with a "how I'm doing" ramble this week. Not today as today I'm going to pick up a metallic curtain. It's prismatic and they sell for $15/ea at a local shop. I'll pick up enough to go across the end of the living room, screening the window and door and giving me a whole wall of sparkle to gaze on.
My skin got a wicked radiation burn two weeks ago so they suspended my treatments for two weeks. I got another this morning. The salve I made is healing like a miracle. equal parts shea butter, olive oil and cocoa butter. replace as much olive oil with argan oil as you can afford. It is better than the olive oil which is there to make it more spreadable. Melt in a double boiler or with care in the microwave. too much heat will damage the oil. Add the argan oil after so it stays unheated. you only need to melt the butters so you can mix the whole concoction. If you need to fight infection, you can add a dash or two of tea tree oil, but it may sting a bit when applied to open wounds. Use sparingly, perhaps set a smaller quantity aside as the stuff kills infection in less than a day. I am very pleased with this gentle healing salve. Use it on all skin complaints including 3rd degree burns. Apply generously and frequently to keep the wound soft and make a barrier to the air. Use cotton or sterile non-stick bandages if you must protect against dirt.