kindness
If I had to say one particular cause of why I got cancer, especially as I'd been doing everything right to avoid it, I'd say it's caused by unkindness. So many unkind people, so much disrespect and grief offered to me.
When you are unkind to someone, you cause them stress. Stress kills. Stress depresses the immune system, rearranges the blood flow and endocrine system, sacrifices healing in favour of defensive posture, and creates it's own damage through the behaviour it inspires, like trembling, tensing, grinding teeth, self harm behaviour, mental damage from emotions, and more. We don't even have it all catalogued, let alone me remembering it all.
Then there's the denial of oxytocin you bring about when you are unkind. Oxytocin is to adrenalin what comfort is to stress. Oxytocin comes from within but must be triggered from without. You can give yourself some, but for proper release, it takes interaction with others. Whether it's pride, nurturing or just welcoming behaviour, when we are kind to each other we give each other oxytocin releases. Oxytocin reverses a lot of the damage done by stress, doing pretty much the exact opposite on every point, enhancing the immune system, normalizing the circulation, soothing and regulating the autonomic system including endocrine, calming the brain's static, and so forth.
So unkindness kills in both ways, by creating imbalance and damage directly, and by preventing the healing of already existing damage.
The reasons I've been given could fill an encyclopedia, but many people have been unkind to me. Often by omission, such as failing to include me in group events or even by exclusion, finding a way to eject me from groups. Other times directly, choosing to be hurtful or disrespectful for some internal reason. Whether disrespectful or dismissive or even that passive aggressive form that simply seeks to help you become someone they can like properly, it is unkindness.
Here's the hard part, it's asking too much to put up with someone who doesn't fit for you. We all know that. Whether it's because you take them wrong, or project your fears on them, or because they have a handicap that takes away the pleasure of conversation for you, or causes you physical discomfort (the gross factor).
It can be just asking too much. I'd like a better idea of how it's done from those who successfully do it. They stay cheerful and gentle. They don't express thoughts about how they're feeling or affected by the other's state of being. I suppose they don't feel like their ego is relevant in the dialog? They don't suffer so much stress they need things to move quickly?
So put ego back in it's crib and give it a bottle to suck on and then relax all the way down.
I can do the former, but the latter still eludes me. Reference the unkindness. It plagues me, and has for decades. It feels so sad. So cruel, so fated. I've had so much trouble understanding why it exists at all.
Back to my philosophy for a moment here. We are here because we are drops of Life pursuing understanding of Itself. To do so, it must examine every possible permutation of Life that could possibly be, though that take eons and eons to run the simulation. Each of us is one of those possibilities, however cruel or fortunate that may be. We cannot wish ourselves into another life, because that too is being lived. If you can dream it, it's a possible permutation and someone must live it. But the "we" that is doing this living still is merely a function of the larger whole, that Life, and together We are God, We are Consciousness, WE are the source, the google, the databank, the collected wisdom of Life.
When it ends, it blinks and reviews from the beginning what it has just learned. So it goes, on and on. Eternity in the blink of God's eye.
But please do prioritize kindness. It really matters on every level.
When you are unkind to someone, you cause them stress. Stress kills. Stress depresses the immune system, rearranges the blood flow and endocrine system, sacrifices healing in favour of defensive posture, and creates it's own damage through the behaviour it inspires, like trembling, tensing, grinding teeth, self harm behaviour, mental damage from emotions, and more. We don't even have it all catalogued, let alone me remembering it all.
Then there's the denial of oxytocin you bring about when you are unkind. Oxytocin is to adrenalin what comfort is to stress. Oxytocin comes from within but must be triggered from without. You can give yourself some, but for proper release, it takes interaction with others. Whether it's pride, nurturing or just welcoming behaviour, when we are kind to each other we give each other oxytocin releases. Oxytocin reverses a lot of the damage done by stress, doing pretty much the exact opposite on every point, enhancing the immune system, normalizing the circulation, soothing and regulating the autonomic system including endocrine, calming the brain's static, and so forth.
So unkindness kills in both ways, by creating imbalance and damage directly, and by preventing the healing of already existing damage.
The reasons I've been given could fill an encyclopedia, but many people have been unkind to me. Often by omission, such as failing to include me in group events or even by exclusion, finding a way to eject me from groups. Other times directly, choosing to be hurtful or disrespectful for some internal reason. Whether disrespectful or dismissive or even that passive aggressive form that simply seeks to help you become someone they can like properly, it is unkindness.
Here's the hard part, it's asking too much to put up with someone who doesn't fit for you. We all know that. Whether it's because you take them wrong, or project your fears on them, or because they have a handicap that takes away the pleasure of conversation for you, or causes you physical discomfort (the gross factor).
It can be just asking too much. I'd like a better idea of how it's done from those who successfully do it. They stay cheerful and gentle. They don't express thoughts about how they're feeling or affected by the other's state of being. I suppose they don't feel like their ego is relevant in the dialog? They don't suffer so much stress they need things to move quickly?
So put ego back in it's crib and give it a bottle to suck on and then relax all the way down.
I can do the former, but the latter still eludes me. Reference the unkindness. It plagues me, and has for decades. It feels so sad. So cruel, so fated. I've had so much trouble understanding why it exists at all.
Back to my philosophy for a moment here. We are here because we are drops of Life pursuing understanding of Itself. To do so, it must examine every possible permutation of Life that could possibly be, though that take eons and eons to run the simulation. Each of us is one of those possibilities, however cruel or fortunate that may be. We cannot wish ourselves into another life, because that too is being lived. If you can dream it, it's a possible permutation and someone must live it. But the "we" that is doing this living still is merely a function of the larger whole, that Life, and together We are God, We are Consciousness, WE are the source, the google, the databank, the collected wisdom of Life.
When it ends, it blinks and reviews from the beginning what it has just learned. So it goes, on and on. Eternity in the blink of God's eye.
But please do prioritize kindness. It really matters on every level.