sympathy is an addiction
I wish "post title" was at the bottom, since one wants to fill it in last, not first. But if I don't put something in first, I'm likely to forget after! I wonder what it would be like to have a good memory like folks had before literacy?
I have so much trouble with my posture. Seriously, I have wondered if it's a sign of something weird in my brain because of how quickly I return to a crouch. I straighten up and return my attention to what I'm doing and immediately my body returns to the crouch. It's being caused partly by my poor eyesight. My eyes are doing that middle-aged thing where you can't see close up and I already had bad distance vision. It's where everything is blurry at every distance and I should definitely get those graduated lenses.
So I'm finding myself way too involved with a woman on Vine. She's a sympathy addict. She whines daily in long streams of 6 sec cuts of random thought. Like if she was that fascinating she wouldn't have someone along just to listen to her talk. You can't say anything because you might push her off the emotional edge. You try and reach out because maybe it's just a short term state she's going through and you want to help her through it. But it's SO annoying and eats up too much time! I don't get a benefit from that friendship, ultimately, because I am not seeking out someone to enable my sympathy addiction. That's what sympathy addicts do if they're not too selfish to reach out, they enable back and help you stay in the zone. Mostly, though, they trump your whining with their own sharing.
It's a hard and painful fact to learn, and it doesn't come easy. Nobody cares like that. They care, but not like that. they can't. You don't either and you know it. So asking for it is unreasonable. Fix your shit, ask for concrete help when you must, and find the silver lining the best you can. We're all so damn busy with our own lives because bored people are boring and only boring people get bored. So either you find other boring people to sit around being bored with, or you dump that crap and get on board someone's activity train. The crap doesn't go away but you get better at living with it when you try to, and sometimes a solution comes along meantime.
It's not like you stop trying to solve it just because you quit bitching about it. You just quit bitching because there's work to be done and that requires concentration. So write out your complaints and stick them in a file and get to them when you can. Then if you haven't anything better to do, go find something.
Example: I taught myself to knit on two chopsticks with twine because I didn't want to invest the hobby if it was impossible. I used youtube. If you've got an excuse against this, it's because you are addicted to the endorphins released when someone gives you sympathy. It's as bad as using heroin for a headache. that stuff is for serious life battles, like your house catching fire, or your mate dying in a crash. It's not for insomnia and indecisiveness and your freakin' diet challenges. Find a support group of people going through it if you need advice.
All these things I wish I could say to this woman out there but I can't. It's too harsh, takes too many entries at 6sec and 120char, and she'd most likely call it cruel and use it for sympathy.
Damn, I am free of my sympathy addiction, I realize, quite completely. In fact it embarasses me and wounds my pride to need pity. It's a good feeling, because I don't feel sorry for myself, I feel a little proud, even, like I could accept a pat on the back without guilt. That makes me weep, to realize I feel that way. It's good.
I have so much trouble with my posture. Seriously, I have wondered if it's a sign of something weird in my brain because of how quickly I return to a crouch. I straighten up and return my attention to what I'm doing and immediately my body returns to the crouch. It's being caused partly by my poor eyesight. My eyes are doing that middle-aged thing where you can't see close up and I already had bad distance vision. It's where everything is blurry at every distance and I should definitely get those graduated lenses.
So I'm finding myself way too involved with a woman on Vine. She's a sympathy addict. She whines daily in long streams of 6 sec cuts of random thought. Like if she was that fascinating she wouldn't have someone along just to listen to her talk. You can't say anything because you might push her off the emotional edge. You try and reach out because maybe it's just a short term state she's going through and you want to help her through it. But it's SO annoying and eats up too much time! I don't get a benefit from that friendship, ultimately, because I am not seeking out someone to enable my sympathy addiction. That's what sympathy addicts do if they're not too selfish to reach out, they enable back and help you stay in the zone. Mostly, though, they trump your whining with their own sharing.
It's a hard and painful fact to learn, and it doesn't come easy. Nobody cares like that. They care, but not like that. they can't. You don't either and you know it. So asking for it is unreasonable. Fix your shit, ask for concrete help when you must, and find the silver lining the best you can. We're all so damn busy with our own lives because bored people are boring and only boring people get bored. So either you find other boring people to sit around being bored with, or you dump that crap and get on board someone's activity train. The crap doesn't go away but you get better at living with it when you try to, and sometimes a solution comes along meantime.
It's not like you stop trying to solve it just because you quit bitching about it. You just quit bitching because there's work to be done and that requires concentration. So write out your complaints and stick them in a file and get to them when you can. Then if you haven't anything better to do, go find something.
Example: I taught myself to knit on two chopsticks with twine because I didn't want to invest the hobby if it was impossible. I used youtube. If you've got an excuse against this, it's because you are addicted to the endorphins released when someone gives you sympathy. It's as bad as using heroin for a headache. that stuff is for serious life battles, like your house catching fire, or your mate dying in a crash. It's not for insomnia and indecisiveness and your freakin' diet challenges. Find a support group of people going through it if you need advice.
All these things I wish I could say to this woman out there but I can't. It's too harsh, takes too many entries at 6sec and 120char, and she'd most likely call it cruel and use it for sympathy.
Damn, I am free of my sympathy addiction, I realize, quite completely. In fact it embarasses me and wounds my pride to need pity. It's a good feeling, because I don't feel sorry for myself, I feel a little proud, even, like I could accept a pat on the back without guilt. That makes me weep, to realize I feel that way. It's good.