new nym? Pariah Sims?


I'm depressed because people think I'm crazy.
  They think I'm crazy because I cry all the time.  I cry all the time because I'm lonely.  I'm lonely because too many people think I'm crazy.  That makes me depressed.  That makes me cry.  Loop.
When I'm not depressed, it's because I'm feeling well enough to shove it from my mind and focus on day to day minutiae.  But give me the flu, or sleep deprivation, or poor nutrition, and I'll spend the whole day spinning that loop.  I didn't include the anger part, but we could call that the depression.  After all, depression and anger are married, in case you don't know.  Depression is what happens when the anger breaks on the rocks of reality.  Depressed people are angry people with no recourse to action and it turns inside and they try to destroy themselves.  I'm angry at being a pariah.  I ought to get a name change, Pariah Sims.  that'd be a very good name for me.  But never mind, that kind of outward expression of feelings is quite disallowed and I don't have the gumption to bother.  I can't even give a good reason to do it, it's just an emotional reaction.  
heh, I'll change my screen name on vine, LOL, since frankly it's highly unlikely more than 10% english speakers even know the name.  the odds anyone on vine will pay attention are quite low.  Might help me, however, to realize I am not permitted to participate in the human race.   Most of my stinging moments happen directly after trying.

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