blood test fail

I'm not functional right now.
Who knows why?  I sure don't.
Ok so I got up an hour early, or an hour and a half, something like. So I could get in to the blood lab before breakfast. I'm required to give a sample on an empty stomach.
It's not easy.  My stoma was running, so that was on my mind. My mind is foggy and stupid and I should not be driving like that.  I technically *can* drive but so can a drunk, eh? I shoudl not be driving like that.
Well before I left, hoping to speed it up so I can get to a bathroom sooner, I looked up the website. it's changed hands again and there's a new system and it's down.   I just go to the clinic. Right as it's listed on google, but I don't know about the website, everything after the main page is "coming soon."
The lab has moved.
My lap stinks. I'm wearing jeans and they'r enot baggy enough out front so I am at greater risk of a blowout and I can smell something.  I just go home.  Fail.
I'll try again in two weeks I guess. 
I'm emotionally unstable as hell in the morning, just two steps away from a tantrum of one kind or another.  Around people I'm so cowed I usually burst into tears but I could as easily go violent when I'm like that. It ups the stress to know how fragile I am.
Now I'm spending the morning stressing because I know I won't remember ANY of this when the doctor asks me to explain. I never do. I don't even remember I've got notes when I'm in there.  All of my brain is busy doing the conversation!  I wish I could talk to my doctor in text first. 
I wish someone would murder me and save me the bother.
I'm so tired of encountering one stupid disability problem after another and never able to do anything about it or even prove it's real.  Just dozens of random little inabilities that add up to one big disability.

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