The features
it occurs to me it'd be useful to list Dan's positive traits. Someone out there is reading and I'd hate them to start thinking worse just from this blog.
he shovels the snow beautifully. he does most of the outside chores in winter. Bless him for that! He's the one goes out and fights with a cold broken vehicle.
Of course I should include that he earns the income that keeps this castle running. Maybe that's not a lot in some heads but with the poverty I've enjoyed, it's almost everything! Well, it's enough by itself.
Qualities, yes. He stops short of becoming physically harmful. he tries to do better when he realizes a behaviour is abusive or harmful. I mean, the man's had a whole life of bad habits demonstrated and tolerated so you can't expect him to just be affable and easy going. If he was, he'd have a wealthier wife anyway.
He's a quick study when he's not stressing. He can learn some pretty groovy stuff and does some pretty groovy things he's learned to do. He fixes the computers. Not necessarily better than me, nor really faster, nor with less emotion, but instead of me having all that emotion. I don't like getting frustrated.
He's strong. God damn is he strong. That man could lift a car to save your life, although he'd need that rush of fear to do it.
He's easy on the eyes. I like looking at him for the most part. Well, I don't dislike it anyway. I'm not that much of a visual person and pretty things are more interesting than others, but as manly views go he's got it. Yes I tell him things like this as often as I can. I figure one of the problems he's suffering is a dearth of praise so I try and find good reasons to praise him, honestly. Not the kind of flattery that just feels good for a moment, but the kind of praise you can chew on before bed and feel better over. The kind he doesn't give me.
yeah, I'm a bit loony these days. Winters get to me. I'm better than I was years ago, it's a few bad weeks with good days in them instead of bad months with no good days. Make no mistake, when you've got nowhere to go in thirty below, you get cabin fever and it makes you think too much. It's why this blog, because I'm overthinking everything and puttingit down somewhere makes it easier to finish the thought and put it away. Why it has to be negative I can only explain by saying a video made me sad and I've been struggling to cheer up since.
Dan's a good hardworking man. He works his back into a twist. He puts his heart into his trade and gives every last erg to his every last job. He's so good it blows people's minds. I respect that. I respect it so much it is the primary reason I should tolerate him and love him and why he deserves it. he's making a huge difference in the world just by being real on his job. he's giving people a touch of grace in their world that lifts their lives for years. Hundreds of thousands of people have been touched by that little grace he gives out. Until you've seen the difference between a regular installation and one of his, you don't know. Until you've lived on a nice floor well installed, you don't know. Even before the paint is fixed the room is lifted and it cleans well and you look at it noticing noot little things that you wonder about, but instead, what a wonder it is. It appears to have grown that way, precise, harmonious, integral, and joined perfectly everywhere.
I wish he put himself like that into home, into me, but because of that, he very much deserves my best and my patience and trust.
so I will figure out how to teach him this creative process. I need to learn it better first but I will, and then we will learn to work together. It's been ten years, we're still growing and not giving up, so yeah, we can get this one straight.
But oh that trust part, I really don't trust him to be more than what he naturally is. That's not enough, really. Your compassionate and rational self has to be in charge, not your nature.
he shovels the snow beautifully. he does most of the outside chores in winter. Bless him for that! He's the one goes out and fights with a cold broken vehicle.
Of course I should include that he earns the income that keeps this castle running. Maybe that's not a lot in some heads but with the poverty I've enjoyed, it's almost everything! Well, it's enough by itself.
Qualities, yes. He stops short of becoming physically harmful. he tries to do better when he realizes a behaviour is abusive or harmful. I mean, the man's had a whole life of bad habits demonstrated and tolerated so you can't expect him to just be affable and easy going. If he was, he'd have a wealthier wife anyway.
He's a quick study when he's not stressing. He can learn some pretty groovy stuff and does some pretty groovy things he's learned to do. He fixes the computers. Not necessarily better than me, nor really faster, nor with less emotion, but instead of me having all that emotion. I don't like getting frustrated.
He's strong. God damn is he strong. That man could lift a car to save your life, although he'd need that rush of fear to do it.
He's easy on the eyes. I like looking at him for the most part. Well, I don't dislike it anyway. I'm not that much of a visual person and pretty things are more interesting than others, but as manly views go he's got it. Yes I tell him things like this as often as I can. I figure one of the problems he's suffering is a dearth of praise so I try and find good reasons to praise him, honestly. Not the kind of flattery that just feels good for a moment, but the kind of praise you can chew on before bed and feel better over. The kind he doesn't give me.
yeah, I'm a bit loony these days. Winters get to me. I'm better than I was years ago, it's a few bad weeks with good days in them instead of bad months with no good days. Make no mistake, when you've got nowhere to go in thirty below, you get cabin fever and it makes you think too much. It's why this blog, because I'm overthinking everything and puttingit down somewhere makes it easier to finish the thought and put it away. Why it has to be negative I can only explain by saying a video made me sad and I've been struggling to cheer up since.
Dan's a good hardworking man. He works his back into a twist. He puts his heart into his trade and gives every last erg to his every last job. He's so good it blows people's minds. I respect that. I respect it so much it is the primary reason I should tolerate him and love him and why he deserves it. he's making a huge difference in the world just by being real on his job. he's giving people a touch of grace in their world that lifts their lives for years. Hundreds of thousands of people have been touched by that little grace he gives out. Until you've seen the difference between a regular installation and one of his, you don't know. Until you've lived on a nice floor well installed, you don't know. Even before the paint is fixed the room is lifted and it cleans well and you look at it noticing noot little things that you wonder about, but instead, what a wonder it is. It appears to have grown that way, precise, harmonious, integral, and joined perfectly everywhere.
I wish he put himself like that into home, into me, but because of that, he very much deserves my best and my patience and trust.
so I will figure out how to teach him this creative process. I need to learn it better first but I will, and then we will learn to work together. It's been ten years, we're still growing and not giving up, so yeah, we can get this one straight.
But oh that trust part, I really don't trust him to be more than what he naturally is. That's not enough, really. Your compassionate and rational self has to be in charge, not your nature.