not happy again

 Yeah, I don't care that I don't slide through life in a single mood to make others comfy.

It's what it is and the least of my worries.

Feeling so damn miserable today.  It's friday. I feel like I lost a day. Yesterday was fine, got lots done, but wasn't feeling good mooded.  I mean, they stole my bike wednesday morning and it's still gone so that is eating at me in all kinds of ways.  It's not just a bike.  It's not just the sentiment.  It's also two trailers, the bike leash post and two basket accessories for which I no longer have the attachments. It's the $60 lock I no longer have.  It's the fact that I can't replace the bike anyway because I am so tight to the wire with money.  

Oh and the solar system going kaka and finding out I need something nobody sells locally and getting it mail order is challenging and now Dan is saying he can't figure out the website anyway so I have no electricity when sunday comes and I leave this campground, with no end in sight.

And it's going to start raining tomorrow so I have to pack up a day early.  I still want to get my baking done, though.

Had a great visit with the neighbors wednesday night but the guy next to them took a hate on at me like most folks do and that has coloured things. He was dishing out his starlink by inputting the password for each of us and on mine, it just kept failing.  Like huh?  Must be my computer to blame?  Nawwwww, he wasn't willing to hate me in front of others, or straight up, just cold shoulder me. I wasn't really sure until he utterly ignored my attempts to share bbq turkey with him.  His window was open and he had a full view the whole time he sat watching videos, I heard the audio.  He knew I was cooking and could tell I was walking over with some and I was calling to him. He did not respond. Sooooo, yeah, asshole didn't help my state of mind.  I'm so tired of being hated. 

I did give some turkey to the friendly neighbors but as of this writing don't even know if they ate it or threw it away because, you know, friendly people can hate you too.  If they'd eaten it, I expect I would hear back from them at some point because it was really incredibly good.  Well at least it wasn't my hand that wasted the food. I've canned up broth and some jars with broth and meat and used up all my jars. I still have to bake cookies.  I was going to boil and pickle some more eggs too.... 

Well anyway, more weed, dry my tears, try to stop thinking beyond the next second.  

I really wish I didn't have to live in a world that doesn't want me.

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