skinny again
I've lost my fat. After so many years, I'm not fat anymore. I never felt myself in that layer of up to 50lbs at the worst. My body felt alien, too soft, too much volume, and I couldn't bend right. At one point, it was so hard to bend I had trouble with footwear. Now I can put my knee behind my shoulders again! I can put my toes in my armpit or use them to pick my ears. I would like to be able to put them on top of my head backwards and now I'm skinny again, I just might be able.
It's funny to me, I'm 138lbs now, probably wind up at around 130, and everywhere I look online, I'm told I shouldn't weigh more than 115. But the only time in my life since childhood that I was that slim, I was a bone rack and unwell. This is coming from doctors and web sites designed to help your health!!! I find it infuriating how they mislead women. I'm fine boned. At my most athletic, lean, muscled, 28" waist, go all day on my bike, I weighed 130lbs and I have never been into sports.
So I got up for breakfast, then got down to napping another 4 hours today. Every chunk of napping I do, the problem is better when I wake up. I even pooped today without serious pain, although it wasn't the sort of experience my mother likened to sex. It was a challenge still. However, it's giving me a lot of hope. My tummy is going from hard to doughy too, so the impacted waste must be starting to flow. It should, I put enough fluid down there! Worse yet, I'm dehydrated in spite of it!
I started doing my food/calorie log again. I do not want to put the weight back on! Seems unlikely, though, on account of the paleo diet. I won't ever eat bread or cake again. Never again will I chow down on crackers or cheezies, cinnamon buns or brownies, fudge or candy. Just the idea tightens my tummy up in fear. I'm well and truly scared off non-food edibles.
Well, I'm still hoping I can eat some cotton candy now and then. I'll try when I'm confident this is healed. If not, then the machine and sugars with it get sold at a yard sale!
So my days are pretty dull, lots of cuddling with Timmy and videos on the tv. My neighbors had a squad of orange vested men come out of a large red van and scrape her tiny chunk of sidewalk clean in two minutes. I feel so jealous. I'd love to know where they came from and how much it costs. Dan hasn't done the walks at all and I'm too ill, so they sit waiting for a complaint to the city, while I continue sick and nobody knows or cares. Kind of depressing.
Dan did take me round on my errands Monday. Took a lot out of me but the peace of mind gives pay back that lasts longer than the weakness I suffered. Why in heck do we have to capitalize days of the week anyway? Dumb.
Ok, enough typing.
It's funny to me, I'm 138lbs now, probably wind up at around 130, and everywhere I look online, I'm told I shouldn't weigh more than 115. But the only time in my life since childhood that I was that slim, I was a bone rack and unwell. This is coming from doctors and web sites designed to help your health!!! I find it infuriating how they mislead women. I'm fine boned. At my most athletic, lean, muscled, 28" waist, go all day on my bike, I weighed 130lbs and I have never been into sports.
So I got up for breakfast, then got down to napping another 4 hours today. Every chunk of napping I do, the problem is better when I wake up. I even pooped today without serious pain, although it wasn't the sort of experience my mother likened to sex. It was a challenge still. However, it's giving me a lot of hope. My tummy is going from hard to doughy too, so the impacted waste must be starting to flow. It should, I put enough fluid down there! Worse yet, I'm dehydrated in spite of it!
I started doing my food/calorie log again. I do not want to put the weight back on! Seems unlikely, though, on account of the paleo diet. I won't ever eat bread or cake again. Never again will I chow down on crackers or cheezies, cinnamon buns or brownies, fudge or candy. Just the idea tightens my tummy up in fear. I'm well and truly scared off non-food edibles.
Well, I'm still hoping I can eat some cotton candy now and then. I'll try when I'm confident this is healed. If not, then the machine and sugars with it get sold at a yard sale!
So my days are pretty dull, lots of cuddling with Timmy and videos on the tv. My neighbors had a squad of orange vested men come out of a large red van and scrape her tiny chunk of sidewalk clean in two minutes. I feel so jealous. I'd love to know where they came from and how much it costs. Dan hasn't done the walks at all and I'm too ill, so they sit waiting for a complaint to the city, while I continue sick and nobody knows or cares. Kind of depressing.
Dan did take me round on my errands Monday. Took a lot out of me but the peace of mind gives pay back that lasts longer than the weakness I suffered. Why in heck do we have to capitalize days of the week anyway? Dumb.
Ok, enough typing.