Just how does one find the ego to continue blogging?

No, I mean, this is the thing. I sit down to write and it's a flipping farce!  Write about my day?  I spent it painting boxes!  If you're that damn interested, buy one.  Okay so maybe someone's reading this years later and can't.  Well the boxes are fun because I get to see the sparkle develop.  Kind of like watching a bug hatch, I guess.  I also love sparkle.  Autistics call these things "stims" because of the pleasure stimulation that one gets from them.  I don't know if non-autistics experience it but I think they do, just not as richly.  They like sparklies too but don't get obsessed over them.  If I had a wall of  iridescent  tinsel big enough to fill my vision I don't think I'd ever want to quit staring at it.
I can turn to things like that for comfort against stress too.    A good sparkly is far better for comfort than a hug!  Hugs aren't comforting at all, actually.  They're too awkward.  What if they spark some sexual nerves?  Awkward!  How long do you keep your limbs there?  When is it done?  What do you do after?
I got taught to hug by hippies but I never liked it anyway.  I never didn't get a hit on my sexual nerves which I hated.  I didn't want those nerves to wake up just over hugging some stranger!  Yes, it's always strangers.  ~sigh~  I dont like to shake hands either but other humans just haven't gotten over needing touch to feel safe.  If I'm not touching them, by golly, one of us must have a disease!  Or something...  Of course, the new ebola panic might really be an advantage that way.  They sure won't want to hug and a lot of them prefer fist bumping!  I think I could handle fist bumping and even get a kick out of it, but nobody's tried it with me.  I haven't had a hand offered in over a year either, though.  I don't get out that much.
My fucking parrot is going off.  when he's like this I feel such rage as to want to do cruel things.  I just put some ear plugs in and sit in quiet resentment.  He ramps it up till the dogs can't stand it and start screaming at him.  It sucks.
Why is he going off...  Bored?  Not enough attention or activity?  That's my assumption and there's bloody bugger all I can do about it.  I haven't got a jungle handy to give him.
Hey I've written enough to quit!

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