still not healed!
Yikes and ouch, the surgery from last December keeps getting torn over and over. I'm not supposed to reach over my head. But even my microwave is higher than that. My whole kitchen, half of it is up, and the other half is reaching down! Then there's sleep, where I put my arm is along under my pillow, stretched out above my head. So even in half sleep I'm putting my stitches under strain. I'm sleeping and doing it. Well it's been infected, and that was scary, I took tons of golden seal and garlic and broth, because it was too cold to see a doctor. Well that worked and I doing great then I grabbed the dog and moved her and tore it again, always the left side. That was swollen like crazy, almost healed, when Iwas putting my cds on the shelf and POP it goes again. This last one included enough internal bleeding to create a large hematoma which now has just popped by slowing killing the skin between it and the surface. I expressed a lot of the contents which included the bad color of infection and finally flowed thick arterial style blood. Then I realized it was sucking air and hit it with tea tree oil hoping it doesn't infect, and slapped a silver water block plus bandaid over it with some absorbancy in case it leaks overnight, and a pressure bandage which is making th eother side hurt too. Tylenol should help me sleep.
I'm kicking both dogs out of the bed tonight because I really need a decent rest and they've been sleep thieves lately. They have alternatives.
As to finances, they topped me up to make up for a lot of shortages all winter and with that Iwas able to catch up on all the bills. I've had a buffer in the account and it's still there and im still eating so I count that a win. Dan is being helpful bringing food when he visits the dogs and paying the phone bill which he still has his phone on. All this plus the conclusion of all the red tape with welfare (for now) (disability, but Ilike the word welfare) means I can settle down and figure out month by month how to make things work. I've been trading baking with Dan for groceries in addition to what he brings of his own volition. I've been calming down
Yes, I would like to call and see the doctor but... it's late friday night. No way to phone before monday and then we usually have a 5-10 day wait time for an appointment. As with last winter, if it can wait that long it doesn't need to see a doctor. if it can't, I better get on it with the home remedies. So that's how I'm handling it. I woudl have put on a steri strip to cut the scarring but the danger of infection is too great. Istill have my herbs but it is a terrible amount of effort, I'd rather just heal!
Ok, well Ifeel better for having some whining out of my system. It does hurt and more, it's exhausting and tonight really gave my body a shock, having all that blood and yellow matter flow out of a hole like that isnt' just mental, which is bad enough, but also the body reacts. it knows. So I was feeling especially low. I've been feeling extra weak of late. the other night, though, I was able to decide I didn't want to cry.
I'd looked up canaries online and was trying to find the address of the breeder (yes I have a canary now again after all these year) Well the dude's address is one of the screwiest stystems I've ever suffered. Like ever. Maddening, absolutely crazy, I spent an hour as the sun set, driving around on deeply snowy and icey streets feeling more and more frantic. I finally got to it and by then my number dyslexia was in full swing and Iwas on the right street, wrong house, and they had no idea. I almost cried, but decided not to, and rechecked my info to correct myself and get my bird. BTW, it's utterly delightful to hear a canary again. His morning song doesn't even keep me awake, it's so natural and safe sounding to my brain. I lived with Canaries from my mid 20s until my mid 50s, thirty years. the last seven without them has been slightly empty. The parrot kept that spot occupied but he was bitter and spiteful and toxic and loud so it wasn't the same, of course. Poor Rene lost her breakfast out of sheer terror the first morning thinking it was like Sam all over again. It took me a few hours to realize what the problem was and then a couple more to reassure her that the canary was a different sort of creature altogether. He's still scared of me. His name is fred. I just heard that name in my head as I was heading over so that's his name and it's as good as any other. Iwas going to reserve deciding in case something better showed up but Fred just keeps floating up really natural.
Oh and the last thing, I found prosthetic nipples and then found out how they were made and bought the materials to make more myself. I think I can, it doesn't look difficult. I also am going to buy a set of false eyelashes and make a fake closed third eye prosthetic for my forehead. For giggles. I could even make them instead of nipples if I was feeling extre creepy, LOL Ok, for now, I'm just doing some embroidery for a comissioned needlebook, and working on ties. I also am going to knit a sweater for kathy to trade for another season of shoveling. These things are good for me. Ok, probably could catch up more but I really do feel like utter crap.