From Tiny house to Bus
I discovered that for half the price of a flatbed trailer we can get a nice long bus, often recently safety certified! So that makes a lot more sense financially and practically. Of course it also means mechanical concerns, and that it's a bus. Buses have never been much welcome in the kinds of places tiny houses park. But then they do have their own nomad community you soon catch up to, and they're pretty awesome people. Probably better for us than the kind who cluster into intentional communities. Bus people wouldn't have as many rules.
Yes I'm saying "us" again. I couldn't not communicate with Dan. Firstly because he gets back on his best behaviour and I like that man. When he's a nice guy, he's my friend. If he could live in that state more routinely we wouldn't have a problem. Also, I was listening to John Martyn and that song "may you never" (look it up on youtube, it's really good) came on. among the many loving blessings he says "may you never lose your woman overnight." I thought about that and grieved for that future Dan who would experience that, thinking, for a man, that is about the worst thing that can happen. Having your woman just steal away one day and never again see her, that would just crush him for good. It wouldn't be my best possible future either, compared to one where I continue to have a life mate who is strong, able to earn money, capable of many good skills and abilities, and could punch out another man even now at age 60. Lets face it, a little fighter in a man gives a girl a sense of safety!
I mean, if he's working on it, the bus gets walls, cupboards, flooring. Me? I throw down a rug and move the furniture in, pack it tight enough to stay put during driving and that's the best I have. n With Dan we can afford solar panels, a roof rack, electric stuff inside, propane stuff, you know, comforts. He's hard to get moving but can get a lot done when he starts. I think if a bus comes home one day he'll pour himself into the dream at that point.
I've got half the money already and at the rate I'm going, should be able to start shopping next summer. Wouldn't it be amazing to find one already able to put the smart car inside? Heheh
Dan is afraid. He hates having his comfort zone even threatened, let alone actually step outside of it. He's never done so and has no idea that the feeling is just his wings spreading. They ache from disuse and that's why it seems to hurt! Like our bird who's been caged too long, he only dreams of flight and gets scared of falling.
I've flown. Metaphorically speaking. I've launched myself across the country both for vacation and life changes. I left Ontario to come here. I hitched. I rode freight trains to BC and back 3 times, which includes some hitching. I wasn't alone then. I drove beater cars across the country and even into the states on more than one trip. I love to travel. I love to leave certainty behind and with it, responsibility and expectation and the schedule of things I have to remember. I love to see things I've never seen. I feel like I'm discovering wonder. I like to see again places I never saw enough of. I like to know I can do as I please, right here, this very moment. If that's to sleep long, I sleep. If I wish to go swimming in the river, I can because I'm living in a bus and visiting an awesome mountain river. If I wish to spend another day hanging with some cool people who have good grass, I don't leave yet. That's bus life. You didn't promise anyone anything so you don't have to mind the time. You show up and you're there, or you don't and you're not.
I've been telling Dan that I'm doing this with him or without him and if he doesn't want to wind up living the end of his life like his dad did, he'd better pull up his courage boots and get on board. I've decided to take charge of the marriage. Not because I want control. But because he isn't a leader. I've given him so much opportunity. I've always given in to his choices and wants, even as I'm accused of manipulating. I've told him always to tell me what he wants and I'll follow. Well his lifestyle and choices have us owing more than our house is worth, essentially broke and penniless and riding on the largesse of credit companies. It's actually worse than being broke because they can legally just walk in one day with men in boots and start taking everything we have, no choices on our part what goes. Dan doesn't peer into that dark future because he's too scared and prefers to keep the fragile fantasy going by the sweat of his brow. But we're screwed and can't hope to age like this. We cannot pay that debt this way.
I just hope when the house sells, the debt and takings match up close enough to let us go. I'd hate to be dragging a 10k or worse debt along with us. Keep us tied to banks and bills and folders full of paper.
I don't miss the wretched poverty but I do miss being poor. Money is too expensive. There's a better way to balance your life than this. We chase amusements to keep our minds off how unsuitable our lives are, and live those miserable lives so we can chase the amusements. It's an insane game of monkeys and weasels and mulberry bushes. "round and round the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel! The monkey stopped to pull up his socks and POP goes the weasel!"
It's like a metaphor. We're the monkey, the weasel is the financial system, money, etc. Stop running for but a moment and it all comes tumbling down.
I know Dan wants to get free in his heart of hearts. He hates the system he's plugged into. He gets pretty depressed on his own just from being on that race wheel. Makes me think of the people who used to power the cranes and mills in medieval times. Oh you didn't know? Neither did I till I recently watched some shows about it. Not many people were fortunate enough to able to park their machinery near a fast moving creek or river. Instead of a water wheel, they used a man wheel! Yep, a man, child, or dog sized wheel, depending on circumstances, that looks exactly like you'd imagine a hamster wheel built of wood and screen to look at that size.
That's what Dan's been doing for too long now. I can't stand what it does to his personality. He gets impatient, surly, cross and snappish. He goes so far into it that he bursts out into fits of rage without warning, swearing and handling things roughly. He doesn't understand that it is a literal assault to those in the room, a threatening display of physical size. It doesn't matter the conscious intent, the underlying implication is clear "I have it my way now or someone or something gets hurt!" The animal in me and all our pets read that part much more loudly than anything else and we're all potential targets because a man in a rage has no aim.
It's the long cold silent rages that erupt into fits and last days that make me decide to leave him! they're caused, I think, by the pressure of working long hours. He neglects himself utterly, feeding himself quick food as an afterthought, even when good food waits in the fridge sometimes. He shorts himself on sleep and puts higher priority on every little thing till he shuts down from the pressure of having to be everywhere at once and keep track of too many things. Then he turns his face into his computer and mindlessly follows one engaging sensation after another.
The media know his type and have set many hooks for him, all leading to fear mongering. Stroke all your fears, tell you that the only sure plan is to keep working hard and paying money.
I keep wondering, why can't we just go to work for a sane number of hours and go to the shop for food and stuff and let someone else shuffle the money from the customers to the government and corporations? Why must I handle it in between? It just comes in and goes out anyway!
Of course, at the moment, there's a very good reason, I'm making a stash to get out of this rat race. That's the thing, see, a stash is vulnerable to theft from humans in the vicinity, but a savings account has more chance, in my mind, of being stolen "legitimately" by creditors, than a well hidden cash stash. What's more, it's really not hard to hide cash. It's so small. So many fine places you could stuff it. Unless someone gets a peek at you accessing it, it's a secret.
I only ever go near mine when I know I'll be alone long enough to finish my deposits. I'd rather carry the deposit a week in my wallet than risk giving away my hiding place!
I still can't believe how low the prices are for buses, and ones being sold to the likes of hockey teams, what's more, not the kind of end-of-life buses you think are on the market. School districts all over the province run long buses and change them out after keeping them maintained. After all, it's got kids in it, it cannot have a breakdown at -40 on a grid road with children in it.
They tend to have very strong diesel engines and I know damn well that putting in a vegetable oil tank is quick and simple.
You don't have to make diesel out of it, and you don't have to change the engine. You start with the diesel tank, then switch to the vegetable oil tank. Filter that crap well before dumping it in your tank and you've got fuel that is available by the dumpster in every place that has french fries for sale. Many will give it to you free. We'd need to set up a filtering station but the whole business could be one integral system. Pump it into the first barrel, filter through the next, and down into the holding tank. When the filter barrels are empty, you can clean them. Cleaning that wouldn't be fun but if we've got a hot water heater on board and a good bath barrel it shouldn't be too horrible. I bet we'd be running it nearly free if we set it up.
So yeah, for me, this current gilded cage is so awful I spend my days planning freedom. But we did get a vr headset last weekend, so I'm enjoying some limited virtual freedom to tide me over.
Today I'll go out of the house and do some shopping. I need wool, I want (but probably can't get) a bluetooth controller for my phone, and groceries and something else I keep forgetting.. Oh yeah, hash, LOL. Better get ahold of my source. Bye
Yes I'm saying "us" again. I couldn't not communicate with Dan. Firstly because he gets back on his best behaviour and I like that man. When he's a nice guy, he's my friend. If he could live in that state more routinely we wouldn't have a problem. Also, I was listening to John Martyn and that song "may you never" (look it up on youtube, it's really good) came on. among the many loving blessings he says "may you never lose your woman overnight." I thought about that and grieved for that future Dan who would experience that, thinking, for a man, that is about the worst thing that can happen. Having your woman just steal away one day and never again see her, that would just crush him for good. It wouldn't be my best possible future either, compared to one where I continue to have a life mate who is strong, able to earn money, capable of many good skills and abilities, and could punch out another man even now at age 60. Lets face it, a little fighter in a man gives a girl a sense of safety!
I mean, if he's working on it, the bus gets walls, cupboards, flooring. Me? I throw down a rug and move the furniture in, pack it tight enough to stay put during driving and that's the best I have. n With Dan we can afford solar panels, a roof rack, electric stuff inside, propane stuff, you know, comforts. He's hard to get moving but can get a lot done when he starts. I think if a bus comes home one day he'll pour himself into the dream at that point.
I've got half the money already and at the rate I'm going, should be able to start shopping next summer. Wouldn't it be amazing to find one already able to put the smart car inside? Heheh
Dan is afraid. He hates having his comfort zone even threatened, let alone actually step outside of it. He's never done so and has no idea that the feeling is just his wings spreading. They ache from disuse and that's why it seems to hurt! Like our bird who's been caged too long, he only dreams of flight and gets scared of falling.
I've flown. Metaphorically speaking. I've launched myself across the country both for vacation and life changes. I left Ontario to come here. I hitched. I rode freight trains to BC and back 3 times, which includes some hitching. I wasn't alone then. I drove beater cars across the country and even into the states on more than one trip. I love to travel. I love to leave certainty behind and with it, responsibility and expectation and the schedule of things I have to remember. I love to see things I've never seen. I feel like I'm discovering wonder. I like to see again places I never saw enough of. I like to know I can do as I please, right here, this very moment. If that's to sleep long, I sleep. If I wish to go swimming in the river, I can because I'm living in a bus and visiting an awesome mountain river. If I wish to spend another day hanging with some cool people who have good grass, I don't leave yet. That's bus life. You didn't promise anyone anything so you don't have to mind the time. You show up and you're there, or you don't and you're not.
I've been telling Dan that I'm doing this with him or without him and if he doesn't want to wind up living the end of his life like his dad did, he'd better pull up his courage boots and get on board. I've decided to take charge of the marriage. Not because I want control. But because he isn't a leader. I've given him so much opportunity. I've always given in to his choices and wants, even as I'm accused of manipulating. I've told him always to tell me what he wants and I'll follow. Well his lifestyle and choices have us owing more than our house is worth, essentially broke and penniless and riding on the largesse of credit companies. It's actually worse than being broke because they can legally just walk in one day with men in boots and start taking everything we have, no choices on our part what goes. Dan doesn't peer into that dark future because he's too scared and prefers to keep the fragile fantasy going by the sweat of his brow. But we're screwed and can't hope to age like this. We cannot pay that debt this way.
I just hope when the house sells, the debt and takings match up close enough to let us go. I'd hate to be dragging a 10k or worse debt along with us. Keep us tied to banks and bills and folders full of paper.
I don't miss the wretched poverty but I do miss being poor. Money is too expensive. There's a better way to balance your life than this. We chase amusements to keep our minds off how unsuitable our lives are, and live those miserable lives so we can chase the amusements. It's an insane game of monkeys and weasels and mulberry bushes. "round and round the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel! The monkey stopped to pull up his socks and POP goes the weasel!"
It's like a metaphor. We're the monkey, the weasel is the financial system, money, etc. Stop running for but a moment and it all comes tumbling down.
I know Dan wants to get free in his heart of hearts. He hates the system he's plugged into. He gets pretty depressed on his own just from being on that race wheel. Makes me think of the people who used to power the cranes and mills in medieval times. Oh you didn't know? Neither did I till I recently watched some shows about it. Not many people were fortunate enough to able to park their machinery near a fast moving creek or river. Instead of a water wheel, they used a man wheel! Yep, a man, child, or dog sized wheel, depending on circumstances, that looks exactly like you'd imagine a hamster wheel built of wood and screen to look at that size.
That's what Dan's been doing for too long now. I can't stand what it does to his personality. He gets impatient, surly, cross and snappish. He goes so far into it that he bursts out into fits of rage without warning, swearing and handling things roughly. He doesn't understand that it is a literal assault to those in the room, a threatening display of physical size. It doesn't matter the conscious intent, the underlying implication is clear "I have it my way now or someone or something gets hurt!" The animal in me and all our pets read that part much more loudly than anything else and we're all potential targets because a man in a rage has no aim.
It's the long cold silent rages that erupt into fits and last days that make me decide to leave him! they're caused, I think, by the pressure of working long hours. He neglects himself utterly, feeding himself quick food as an afterthought, even when good food waits in the fridge sometimes. He shorts himself on sleep and puts higher priority on every little thing till he shuts down from the pressure of having to be everywhere at once and keep track of too many things. Then he turns his face into his computer and mindlessly follows one engaging sensation after another.
The media know his type and have set many hooks for him, all leading to fear mongering. Stroke all your fears, tell you that the only sure plan is to keep working hard and paying money.
I keep wondering, why can't we just go to work for a sane number of hours and go to the shop for food and stuff and let someone else shuffle the money from the customers to the government and corporations? Why must I handle it in between? It just comes in and goes out anyway!
Of course, at the moment, there's a very good reason, I'm making a stash to get out of this rat race. That's the thing, see, a stash is vulnerable to theft from humans in the vicinity, but a savings account has more chance, in my mind, of being stolen "legitimately" by creditors, than a well hidden cash stash. What's more, it's really not hard to hide cash. It's so small. So many fine places you could stuff it. Unless someone gets a peek at you accessing it, it's a secret.
I only ever go near mine when I know I'll be alone long enough to finish my deposits. I'd rather carry the deposit a week in my wallet than risk giving away my hiding place!
I still can't believe how low the prices are for buses, and ones being sold to the likes of hockey teams, what's more, not the kind of end-of-life buses you think are on the market. School districts all over the province run long buses and change them out after keeping them maintained. After all, it's got kids in it, it cannot have a breakdown at -40 on a grid road with children in it.
They tend to have very strong diesel engines and I know damn well that putting in a vegetable oil tank is quick and simple.
You don't have to make diesel out of it, and you don't have to change the engine. You start with the diesel tank, then switch to the vegetable oil tank. Filter that crap well before dumping it in your tank and you've got fuel that is available by the dumpster in every place that has french fries for sale. Many will give it to you free. We'd need to set up a filtering station but the whole business could be one integral system. Pump it into the first barrel, filter through the next, and down into the holding tank. When the filter barrels are empty, you can clean them. Cleaning that wouldn't be fun but if we've got a hot water heater on board and a good bath barrel it shouldn't be too horrible. I bet we'd be running it nearly free if we set it up.
So yeah, for me, this current gilded cage is so awful I spend my days planning freedom. But we did get a vr headset last weekend, so I'm enjoying some limited virtual freedom to tide me over.
Today I'll go out of the house and do some shopping. I need wool, I want (but probably can't get) a bluetooth controller for my phone, and groceries and something else I keep forgetting.. Oh yeah, hash, LOL. Better get ahold of my source. Bye