served

My friend served the papers to Dan today. It's so nerve wracking.  I haven't spoken with him since yet.  half an hour to go and I go in to brush Rene. But he is very likely not going to speak to me. Or will act like nothing.

It's been so hard to do this mean thing.  Hard to be mean. Hard to navigate the red tape. Hard to spend the money. Hard on my nerves fighting Dan. He, for his part, is just squirreling it all away somewhere, not acting or responding.

Then it gets hard not to be mean about it. The anger I feel. It's harder still living with him, and that's all his fault for being lazy and selfish.

Then I feel capable of drawing those lines, doing the hard things. But I still want to be kind about it. Or at least not nasty. 

Now that I gave him notice to vacate, I'll help by packing him. Carefully, and with lables. I'll do a good job, and I know how. By the end of October, he will have his toiletries in a bag on the shelf and nothing in anywhere. somewhere in that process, he should give in. If not, the internet goes on two month vacation stoppage. Then halfway through october, his cell phone goes dead if he hasn't moved his account for himself.  Once he's all packed, maybe there's a way to have him moved to a storage facility and change the locks.  Oh the things money could buy had I but the money to do that. I cannot haul his stuff. Between my tiny car and my giant hernia, packing him is asking a lot already.

It's exciting and terrifying all at once.

And if he cuts off the money, when do I go to social services?  Where can I turn to maybe get help with moving his crap and changing the locks? Then I don't need to turn off the internet, just change the password. Which frankly is what I should quietly do.  First I have to learn to use it....  LOL!!!

But for reals, I don't know how the internet here is set up. I need to ditch the house router and get the utility out to reset theirs and set me up with basic wifi.  I don't need the fancy crap anymore. Things have changed.  We had a secondary router to allow for a home based server.  We havent' done that in ten years and I have no interest anymore.  I used to think I was pursuing a career, as usual.  It escaped. I couldn't run fast enough.

I guess I could liken my autism to a physical disability if we consider it a running handicap and the career world a running race event.  Keep up or you're dropped. Even for stuff one does on one's own this can happen. this is one reason I did turn away from tech, it is like fairy lights in a swamp, ever out of reach, ever more desireable, leading one to ruin.

Fiber arts is something that fits more with the running threads of my life.  There's the arts training. There's the love of color. There's my sewing since childhood. The hobbies of lace making and felting and silk dying and tee shirt painting and tie dying. The fact that I yearned to learning spinning and weaving even in childhood. I always thought it looked like a level up of power.   It's the power to survive on subsistence, a skill I've also chased as best I could. I can't really survive by foraging but it's helped supplement me often enough to be worth learning! Wool gathering can be like that too if I can find a place where this can be done. Not wanuskewin, I can see.  If they gather it, it will be used by the museum. I honestly don't know anywhere other than dog groomers to gather fiber.  But then, don't they wash and dry before clipping???  hmmm. I keep wanting my own fiber pet but I really can't and I really do know it. there's urban laws, no sheep. there's odor in a close neighborhood, there's cleaning hutches with a hernia, bad back, and hay allergy. Nope, it won't happen.  A rabbit might happen some day but ...  Those sneezing fits, the back ache hauling the cage.  ech.

Well anyway, he's got the paper work. Wonder what he'll do?  If he wants to dispute, he has to hire a lawyer, so he won't respond legally. Instead I think he will keep doing the same damn thing as ever, acting like it didn't happen.  As his stuff gets boxed up, he'll figure it out.