still recuperating
I'm so fed up with that POS bluetooth keyboard. It misses the space bar, I hit the enter key all the time when I don't mean to (sending immediately my unfinished post) and it dances around on my lap like a puppy who doesn't want to be brushed. ARGGHHHHH! But sitting here, on my heels at the desk using this delightful corsair keyboard is not doing my stitches any good.
I got infected. I think from the drain tube coming out of my stomach, from when I took a shower. I may not get clean enough but till all the holes in my body close I will not shower again! I'm on antibiotics and finally today they're working. I've been in a ton of pain and so tired. I can't believe I'm scheduled for stitch removal next week. It seems too soon. They're still bleeding like menstruation! I can even smell the blood sometimes. I can't lay down 24/7 because I have to sit up to consume food and drink, or knit or fool on the pc, but no matter how I position myself upright, it strains those stitches on my butt.
I want so badly to be able to sit like this for hours. To sit and muse on the keyboard about what I've been through. To weave again at my table loom. To get on a bike? Oh it'll be next spring before I bike again and that'll be tough as shit to get going. I'll have such wasted muscles. I'm glad there's a treadmill here, that'll help during the winter when I need to start moving more again.
I'm having a stupid fight with some assholes on facebook. Jerk says "that's gay" and I come in and tell him it's not okay to use "gay" as an insult. So they're calling me a "social justice warrior" and saying I"m over reacting and there's nothing wrong with saying that. But I don't back down. You can have the last word, but not if it's still an arguing point. You can say "I'm laughing at you" and I'll leave off. You can say "I'm done and I still disagree" and I'll leave off, but bring up another point in the argument, well, I have a lot of time to waste and nothing better to do! I remember all too well the bystanders who just stood there, some smirking, some looking helpless, while bullies made my life suck till I could only dream of suicide. I won't do that. I'll stand up and shout every damn time no matter how you beat me up for it. I've been beat up and screamed at, had my stuff stolen and entire groups fling insults at me and ostracise me. there's nothing you can do I haven't had done, and I will stand up for the tender, the raw, the new, and the sensitive. You don't cure sensitivity with cruelty. It's not a disease to be cured, it's a nature, a type of personality, and sensitive people have something of value to offer the world. You nurture them, you make some concessions for them, you give them a place to be sensitive and be glad of it when they're kind to you in your hard times.
I got infected. I think from the drain tube coming out of my stomach, from when I took a shower. I may not get clean enough but till all the holes in my body close I will not shower again! I'm on antibiotics and finally today they're working. I've been in a ton of pain and so tired. I can't believe I'm scheduled for stitch removal next week. It seems too soon. They're still bleeding like menstruation! I can even smell the blood sometimes. I can't lay down 24/7 because I have to sit up to consume food and drink, or knit or fool on the pc, but no matter how I position myself upright, it strains those stitches on my butt.
I want so badly to be able to sit like this for hours. To sit and muse on the keyboard about what I've been through. To weave again at my table loom. To get on a bike? Oh it'll be next spring before I bike again and that'll be tough as shit to get going. I'll have such wasted muscles. I'm glad there's a treadmill here, that'll help during the winter when I need to start moving more again.
I'm having a stupid fight with some assholes on facebook. Jerk says "that's gay" and I come in and tell him it's not okay to use "gay" as an insult. So they're calling me a "social justice warrior" and saying I"m over reacting and there's nothing wrong with saying that. But I don't back down. You can have the last word, but not if it's still an arguing point. You can say "I'm laughing at you" and I'll leave off. You can say "I'm done and I still disagree" and I'll leave off, but bring up another point in the argument, well, I have a lot of time to waste and nothing better to do! I remember all too well the bystanders who just stood there, some smirking, some looking helpless, while bullies made my life suck till I could only dream of suicide. I won't do that. I'll stand up and shout every damn time no matter how you beat me up for it. I've been beat up and screamed at, had my stuff stolen and entire groups fling insults at me and ostracise me. there's nothing you can do I haven't had done, and I will stand up for the tender, the raw, the new, and the sensitive. You don't cure sensitivity with cruelty. It's not a disease to be cured, it's a nature, a type of personality, and sensitive people have something of value to offer the world. You nurture them, you make some concessions for them, you give them a place to be sensitive and be glad of it when they're kind to you in your hard times.