stress management is a bitch
it's always summer that breaks my habits, whether it's a regular game I play, group I check in with, or hobby I pursue. There's just so much more grabbing my time and attention in summer. I know this, and I value the real things of Summer too much to change it, but I do regret when the thing is not picked up again come autumn. With a blog/diary this is extremely easy to neglect! It's even more so as Summer is generally less miserable for me and I write when I'm miserable.
That being said, I can say I've been too miserable to write this last week. Stress has caused unspeakable horrors to my nether regions and the discomfort and illness and exhaustion resulting from said horrors has been a serious challenge. There were a few days when all I could do was lay around crying! I surprised myself each time by actually getting up from resting and getting things done but if it weren't for the rainy weather we'd had this week I'd have dead garden plants today. I was not able to water them. I haven't mowed a lawn (neither has dan) this summer and the front boulevard shows it. I just can't keep up with elective chores lately! So tired. I've started adding iron supplements back in to offset a loss of blood, which has been part of the horrors.
I find if I take certain OTC meds religiously and studiously censure those around me who directly create stress and unease in me, I'm healing. it's going to take weeks I think, especially as both Dan and Tom seem to think I'm faking for ego strokes, or that it's a "only for today" thing, or that I will somehow magically get stronger, not sicker, if the pressure is unchecked.
Between Tom using passive aggression to pity himself at the sake of my ego, and Dan just thinking it's amusing to provoke me, it's hard to relax! I get tense just remembering.
That's another reason I'm writing less. Recounting things re-injures my brain with the same emotional harm as the original event, although less powerfully. The physical effects of the tension also increase the harm and reduce the healing.
Mostly I've worked on avoiding having time to think by using netflix and youtube carefully to pipe armless comedy into my brain. Stuff with no sentimentality or human moral lessons like "friends are aall you need and you can't live without them" or "family is so valuable and handy to have" and other untrue tropes that cause dissatisfaction.
Granted, My Little Pony does lean on the friendship thing heavily but it's so fantastical, cute, and colourful, that it doesn't feel like a reflection of "other people's reality." Third Rock from the Sun was aan excellent series too, and now it's the new netflix dragon series. All of these are nice for not making me think about my life, and keeping my brain active.
ii'm also using my spa almost daily. I find that floating naked and freshly scrubbed with Crystal Beautiful music radio on the speaker really resets the body tension levels! I need to know I"m secure in there but otherwise, yeah, it works good.
That being said, I can say I've been too miserable to write this last week. Stress has caused unspeakable horrors to my nether regions and the discomfort and illness and exhaustion resulting from said horrors has been a serious challenge. There were a few days when all I could do was lay around crying! I surprised myself each time by actually getting up from resting and getting things done but if it weren't for the rainy weather we'd had this week I'd have dead garden plants today. I was not able to water them. I haven't mowed a lawn (neither has dan) this summer and the front boulevard shows it. I just can't keep up with elective chores lately! So tired. I've started adding iron supplements back in to offset a loss of blood, which has been part of the horrors.
I find if I take certain OTC meds religiously and studiously censure those around me who directly create stress and unease in me, I'm healing. it's going to take weeks I think, especially as both Dan and Tom seem to think I'm faking for ego strokes, or that it's a "only for today" thing, or that I will somehow magically get stronger, not sicker, if the pressure is unchecked.
Between Tom using passive aggression to pity himself at the sake of my ego, and Dan just thinking it's amusing to provoke me, it's hard to relax! I get tense just remembering.
That's another reason I'm writing less. Recounting things re-injures my brain with the same emotional harm as the original event, although less powerfully. The physical effects of the tension also increase the harm and reduce the healing.
Mostly I've worked on avoiding having time to think by using netflix and youtube carefully to pipe armless comedy into my brain. Stuff with no sentimentality or human moral lessons like "friends are aall you need and you can't live without them" or "family is so valuable and handy to have" and other untrue tropes that cause dissatisfaction.
Granted, My Little Pony does lean on the friendship thing heavily but it's so fantastical, cute, and colourful, that it doesn't feel like a reflection of "other people's reality." Third Rock from the Sun was aan excellent series too, and now it's the new netflix dragon series. All of these are nice for not making me think about my life, and keeping my brain active.
ii'm also using my spa almost daily. I find that floating naked and freshly scrubbed with Crystal Beautiful music radio on the speaker really resets the body tension levels! I need to know I"m secure in there but otherwise, yeah, it works good.