rousted and ousted
Sitting in a parking lot of a hiking trail after being copped out of the last squatting spot. I knew we couldn't just stay, Dan didn't agree and so we wound up there again.
It's frankly extremely challenging to find parking. You can see there used to be spots everywhere, and they're all blocked off with rocks or concrete barriers or giant locked gates. The whole atmosphere of hostility here is making me feel defensive and solitudinous. When I go to shops, people just seem miserable. One place we were at, they were smiling and relaxed and it was like a breath of fresh air. I don't remember if this was normal back east, but it just seems so depressed and self centered here.
Dan says this lot is reserve land, that's interesting. I would rather deal with a first nations person, but it'll be a cop no matter what, guaranteed. I'm hoping nobody cares enough. What happened at the last spot was overstaying our welcome plus setting out chairs and a firebowl and a table and doing dishes. Thing is, none of it was visible from the other side of the bus, so they just must have perceived the fire through the trees or by smoke, or just got tired of seeing us back after being out the previous afternoon.
The cop was ok, but it was when she asked where we were "originally from." Now asking where I"m from while standing in front of my sask plates is hostile enough, but "originally?" That sounds like "you should get your ass back where you came from, boy" and I do not appreciate it. I told her I was originally from Canada. Because WTF? So she clarified wanting to know if the plates were still valid and I assured her they were. She also walked in "pick up your trash and put out your fire" and there wasn't a scrap of trash to be seen, not even from others, because we had cleaned it all up the week before. I pointed this out to her after the "where you from" crap. There are SO many ways to start these conversations. "Hi, I see you're from >>>, How long have you been here? Did you have plans on how long you would be in BC? " I mean, that gets the same damn info out of us but doesn't microhostile us, you know? It's more like trying to find a topic of conversation. But nope, people here always start out with "where are you from?" They know, they can figure it out, they just want to remind us we don't belong here.
I have yet to see a "go home we're full" sign in person but saw them on the internet.
Hey, secede from Canada if you don't want easterners spending winter here, we can't spend it back there, period.
Not that I ever get a chance for an honest conversation about anything but dog breeds. People here are so incredibly miserable, they really are. They know their canadian manners and exactly how to subvocally communicate their feelings through it.
Dan hasn't been doing anything to find more work, so I hope he'll try harder now. They really are avoiding hiring outsiders, and I don't think he grasps how deep the hatred is.
It's so ridiculous for settlers to hate on newcomers, and most of them weren't born here anyway.
I wish I had some purpose, some direction, some assurance that this had a point. I keep buttrressing my mood by checking out the saskatoon weather and walking in the forests. I focus on my crafts, smoke lots and lots of weed,and try to be strong.
We can't set anything up here, it's wide open and in view of houses. I did manage to chop off my hair before the sun set. It's crude but cleaner and that'll do. Further, I can keep it going by shaving just the sides and back for a few weeks and letting the top brush up. Rather have my usual brush cut but a barber ain't happening and I don't even know where my clippers are, much less have the power to run them. So battery powered trimmers shaved it all. I did try to brush the top up but the craptastic comb I was able to find caused divots and that was that.
Yeah, so feeling a little anxious and that was causing pretty bad mood spiraling and imagination doom spiraling. Dioesn't help that the internet here is too slow for video.
Ok, well, I feel like we will be ok here till friday. We can come back here and we could overnight at the old spot if we clear out early and don't arrive till late.
I really want a spot I can settle for awhile but even finding anything near services is painful. So much driving just to get to the bank, you know?
oh, I did get an invite from the ex sister in law of my sister, but it was part of her studio open house art tour thing. So yeah, wasn't really a personal invite and I know I don't have the charm to parlay it into a friendship, nor the status to be her equal, and lastly, they didn't open their arms and offer a night in the driveway.
Another pickup truck just checked us out again? Or something. Unnerving.