family stress

I go to try and ask her to stop bringing me food.  I put it as "treats" and then "gustatory pleasures" and all she heard was "you're making me fat, you fat bitch."  So she starts interrupting me and defending herself that she's done nothing wrong and don't blame me and why would you say that. So I raise my voice to get a word in edgewise.  So she says I'm getting too worked up and drop it and let's just leave it.  Meantime I feel dismissed, disrespected, and unheard.  Now I truly AM angry and just want to flee.  Just go and never come back as long as I live. But see, I have a week yet on this project. I don't know how to navigate this. I can't say anything without it turning into some kind of psychotherapy about my problems.  She has this skill of twisting the conversation around to that topic no matter where it begins. I can't even see how we get there but within five minutes it's all about what's wrong with my head.  Over and over again. Then I shut it down with a statement of such painful pathos that she can't stand to keep picking, or maybe is satisfied with whatever it was she wanted, and then she sighs and declares how awful it must be to be me.  Yeah, bitch, especially with an abusive family like you and mom. Oh but family is important and I can always come shelter under your roof.  If I'm able to stand the assaults on my ego, that is.  Goddamn.  How.  If I hide in my room I'm judging. If I don't, I'm getting stuck in those conversations.  Where's the balance? I have tried so many topics. I avoid things I know are hot buttons. I'm trying every trick I have ever learned, including sticking up for myself, and just getting whacked with the shit stick every time we talk. I'd love to tell her all this but it's right back to self defense and offense.  She won't hear anything about herself that is not outright flattery. I don't mean even gentle feedback about a problem she's causing.  Not even explaining why I threw out her "favorite scrubby" after I found it literally rotting apart with fungi and mould.  When I inquired about the unholy stench in the kitchen, it was because I foolishly threw out unwashed plastic and we're living with the stink till the bag is full however long that takes.   Seriously, she declares herself a germophobe constantly.  she is quick to communicate all her predilections and preferences and just as quick to dismiss those of others. She rails against her lazy unambitious husband.  He's on disability retirement and not a day goes by he isn't out in the community giving himself in service to others.  But all she sees is his lack of income.  Yeah, my sister is a queen bee in the classic sense. Generous when it makes her look good, stingy when it costs her, and dodging and returning blame like a pro tennis player even when blame isn't being lofted over the net.  And I can say nothing, it won't go through.  her brain is cemented over.  It's got well worn familiar paths and those are all she has left. I just wish I had a better strategy for remaining on friendly terms while putting up with this another week.  More grass.  Lots and lots more.  Makes me not care so much. 

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