Having a decent day.
Oh it has been ages since I wrote, I'd even forgot about my blog. Well I get tired of hearing myself whine and I've been intensely negative lately. I'm having a decent day today but I still see myself getting snappish and dismissive and tired.
I've been fighting indigestion lately. A sort of dyspepsis that today goes by the name of IBS. I just don't believe it's just something you have to manage. I think it's got an underlying cause and I'm the best qualified and most invested in figuring it out.
So I wrote for my doctor. I decided to tell her about it and what I'm doing, but I can't do that with my voice. I get too anxious and anyway can't remember anything when I'm there. I'm already crying trying to imagine how I'd do it by voice! Okay, must breath, rlaxation, calm, dammit. Ommm Ommmm mani padme hummmng
Wow. I really hate going to the doctor. Well anyway, I did a writeup and tried to write it sciency so it would be easy for her to parse. I kept things together in topics, grouped, paragraphed, and a heading. I learned that stuff in University and it came pretty easy. I wonder will she see that I'm intelligent and well educated, or that I'm a boorish prat showing off her stupidity? Well either way, I'm in charge of my health care and I insist on it. You don't coerce me. You may persuade me, but it will take reasoned arguments, not passionate appeals or threats. Nothing but convincing me will move me and I get stupidly stubborn if I feel pushed. Frankly, I get that way too quickly and I know it, but it's not easy to overcome all the same. For instance, if you want me to read a book, the only way is to leave it laying around and act like it's unimportant. "Oh, you probably wouldn't get into it. I don't think it's your thing." Unless I really think you know my taste, that'll goad me into considering reading it. Not that I ever read books these days, though. When I can figure out a way to read and knit or felt or paint or sculpt, yep, I'll read. My idle time isn't unproductive and that gives me a sense of worth. The product may not enrich the wide world but it seems to make life better in side thishouse. There I go making myself cry getting too self absorbed again.
What else is a blog for? Heh. Well, if it's for profit earning, then that's the last thing you'd want. I guess people have a lot of different reasons for writing posts on a website.
Why don't I try to market like that? Oh yeah, I can't understand the common mind enough to appeal that way. My best appeal to date is my vine account and that's because the dog gets all the camera time. I almost never show my face, being a bit shy and not preferencing face vines anyway. I don't follow accounts where they just fill the screen with their face and yap about something. A few face accounts in my stream because they share enough actual life and self to keep me interested in their welfare. I care about them. I generally try and keep that down, though, no good comes of caring about strangers far away even if you have a fleeting connection on the internet. They'll only and always break your heart one day. Two of my face follows are people in the grip of morbid obesity. One is very near his life expectancy and I don't think he finds the idea as abhorrent as others might. Another keeps trying and then sabotages herself well before any true benefits can be seen. She seems to need to stay "party hardy" for her self image or something. Very social, I think she slips when around people at restaurants. Yes, restaurants and bars. There's nothing safe to eat there, not even the usual salad, unless you learn to special order.
The trick is to order it such that it not only comes out cleaner, but takes less work to prepare. then the cook is well happy to special cook for you and tends to put a little extra attention perhaps because of it.
Like, not the whole thing minus the mayo. No, the salad with no dressing at all, no bacon bits. the plate just the basic grilled veggies and chunk of meat, nothing else. But you pay for that potato and the sauces and gravies the same as ever and tip on top of that and never a beep of cheap. That part matters because if they get it right, you want to go back.
Clearly this is not party ordering. So what? Live on red wine all night? You need bulk in your tummy. What's there but grain starch snacks?
I can fast, but I learned that quite young. I was always using hunger as a way to save money and keep my figure in line. So for me, it would be mostly water with vodka in it if I had to drink. Yeah, I don't get invited out. I can't see the point anyway. I honestly can't think of what advice I'd give this woman. She'd settle down for Mr. Right but there's so much she can't get past to be Mrs. Right for him.
So yeah, there's some I follow, and you can see how I get all thoughtful about it. I don't try and send them advice. I try and psychically send it! If I see a perfect moment I may take it, but it'll be pretty rare and unlikely. Folks like that can be mighty touchy and I'm bad with that. Even as a child my reasoning mind rose above my emotional mind quickly after my temper deflated. Unfortunately in the split seconds of lost temper, I used to become violent. I had to learn not to and it was very hard. I think I am doing great now. I can't frighten the doggy. He's very sensitive and I can't afford to stress him.
I've been fighting indigestion lately. A sort of dyspepsis that today goes by the name of IBS. I just don't believe it's just something you have to manage. I think it's got an underlying cause and I'm the best qualified and most invested in figuring it out.
So I wrote for my doctor. I decided to tell her about it and what I'm doing, but I can't do that with my voice. I get too anxious and anyway can't remember anything when I'm there. I'm already crying trying to imagine how I'd do it by voice! Okay, must breath, rlaxation, calm, dammit. Ommm Ommmm mani padme hummmng
Wow. I really hate going to the doctor. Well anyway, I did a writeup and tried to write it sciency so it would be easy for her to parse. I kept things together in topics, grouped, paragraphed, and a heading. I learned that stuff in University and it came pretty easy. I wonder will she see that I'm intelligent and well educated, or that I'm a boorish prat showing off her stupidity? Well either way, I'm in charge of my health care and I insist on it. You don't coerce me. You may persuade me, but it will take reasoned arguments, not passionate appeals or threats. Nothing but convincing me will move me and I get stupidly stubborn if I feel pushed. Frankly, I get that way too quickly and I know it, but it's not easy to overcome all the same. For instance, if you want me to read a book, the only way is to leave it laying around and act like it's unimportant. "Oh, you probably wouldn't get into it. I don't think it's your thing." Unless I really think you know my taste, that'll goad me into considering reading it. Not that I ever read books these days, though. When I can figure out a way to read and knit or felt or paint or sculpt, yep, I'll read. My idle time isn't unproductive and that gives me a sense of worth. The product may not enrich the wide world but it seems to make life better in side thishouse. There I go making myself cry getting too self absorbed again.
What else is a blog for? Heh. Well, if it's for profit earning, then that's the last thing you'd want. I guess people have a lot of different reasons for writing posts on a website.
Why don't I try to market like that? Oh yeah, I can't understand the common mind enough to appeal that way. My best appeal to date is my vine account and that's because the dog gets all the camera time. I almost never show my face, being a bit shy and not preferencing face vines anyway. I don't follow accounts where they just fill the screen with their face and yap about something. A few face accounts in my stream because they share enough actual life and self to keep me interested in their welfare. I care about them. I generally try and keep that down, though, no good comes of caring about strangers far away even if you have a fleeting connection on the internet. They'll only and always break your heart one day. Two of my face follows are people in the grip of morbid obesity. One is very near his life expectancy and I don't think he finds the idea as abhorrent as others might. Another keeps trying and then sabotages herself well before any true benefits can be seen. She seems to need to stay "party hardy" for her self image or something. Very social, I think she slips when around people at restaurants. Yes, restaurants and bars. There's nothing safe to eat there, not even the usual salad, unless you learn to special order.
The trick is to order it such that it not only comes out cleaner, but takes less work to prepare. then the cook is well happy to special cook for you and tends to put a little extra attention perhaps because of it.
Like, not the whole thing minus the mayo. No, the salad with no dressing at all, no bacon bits. the plate just the basic grilled veggies and chunk of meat, nothing else. But you pay for that potato and the sauces and gravies the same as ever and tip on top of that and never a beep of cheap. That part matters because if they get it right, you want to go back.
Clearly this is not party ordering. So what? Live on red wine all night? You need bulk in your tummy. What's there but grain starch snacks?
I can fast, but I learned that quite young. I was always using hunger as a way to save money and keep my figure in line. So for me, it would be mostly water with vodka in it if I had to drink. Yeah, I don't get invited out. I can't see the point anyway. I honestly can't think of what advice I'd give this woman. She'd settle down for Mr. Right but there's so much she can't get past to be Mrs. Right for him.
So yeah, there's some I follow, and you can see how I get all thoughtful about it. I don't try and send them advice. I try and psychically send it! If I see a perfect moment I may take it, but it'll be pretty rare and unlikely. Folks like that can be mighty touchy and I'm bad with that. Even as a child my reasoning mind rose above my emotional mind quickly after my temper deflated. Unfortunately in the split seconds of lost temper, I used to become violent. I had to learn not to and it was very hard. I think I am doing great now. I can't frighten the doggy. He's very sensitive and I can't afford to stress him.