Is it me?

For thirty or so years I tried to earn income by finding work. By giving away my work. By getting institutional help to find work. I've tried contract work, black market work.  I've tried websites that sell your hand work,.  I've tried putting my pics on knick knacks to sell. I've tried selling my hand work on the street.  I am even now turning to fundraising. I've harvested a lot of bad advice so far.
I really don't get it.  Why is it so damn hard for me to earn any money? it kind of lends creedence to my growing suspicion that money is a supernatural deity with a conscious awareness of me.  That I am being shut out by same because I so virulently speak out against it. But nobody ever hears me so... ~sigh~ My doggy needs his teeth done. He's on pain killers now. I can't even pay the fucking bills on time. it couldn't possibly be the worst time of year for it, but come on, I can only earn money for physical labour jobs intended for kids and I'm not physically capable anymore. I'm no use to the industrial complex. 
It's the lousy advice instead of a buck or two that's getting to me worst. I see people clean up over stupider shit. I feel so frustrated.  I keep having to remind myself that I can't expect the first few hours that way, but then another notification comes in on the fundraiser, another person telling me I should find a cheaper vet, get another credit card, or ask for a discount. One bitch even rolled out "if you can't afford the vet you can't afford the dog." 
I dunno, man, I'm as worthy as the folks who get help, why not me? Why? What the fuck am I here for? I'm unwanted and unsupported in general and can't just die and can't just live, and it's all so frustrating.

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