blocked up and frustrated
Once again, when I really want to complain, I come here. Nobody care to hear me complain so if I feel I have to, here's the place to go.
I haven't been able to poop right for awhile now. July or august, I'm not sure. I don't keep track. I've been irrigating and failing and failing. I tried taking laxatives. I had a whole week to stay home and deal with diarrhea. Nothing nothing then, on the day when I had an early appointment I couldn't cancel, it breaks. Fills my damn bag three times including while in the car. You know, wearing the tight pants that being fat in winter necessitates. I mean, how do you do layers for cold and keep the belly area loose enough? you can't. So it did that, but did not clear up the blockage. I could tell I was still bloated and blocked and I still had hard painful areas when I massaged my colon. So i went back to irrigating. Tried doing it daily. Nope. I get some out, but not all. Still got that block. Irrigating now fails utterly, can't even get the water in. The bag stays mostly empty, a tiny turd now and then. But certainly not clearing up. Eating has gotten hard, I get nauseous really fast. Hot flashes are now hourly, except when I'm asleep when they're every 3 hours. I woke up at 3 am and coudln't get back to sleep. Between the indigestion, the hot flashes, and the leg cramps, it just wouldn't work. So I really feel crappy. I've decided to go liquid diet again till this is resolved. I've been eating pretty low bulk, but not low enough I guess. I'll have to bring it up with the doctor but they just don't get it. Having shit all over you every few days just isn't acceptable and that's what laxatives do. They cause shit to flow unpredictably and it ALWAYS pushes under the appliance when it does that. I can't stand this. I want to plan a trip next summer but it doesn't look too promising now. How do I get away from Dan if I'm always sick? How do I escape this empty life if I'm too sick? I don't feel like I have a life or a future or anyone to turn to.
I haven't been able to poop right for awhile now. July or august, I'm not sure. I don't keep track. I've been irrigating and failing and failing. I tried taking laxatives. I had a whole week to stay home and deal with diarrhea. Nothing nothing then, on the day when I had an early appointment I couldn't cancel, it breaks. Fills my damn bag three times including while in the car. You know, wearing the tight pants that being fat in winter necessitates. I mean, how do you do layers for cold and keep the belly area loose enough? you can't. So it did that, but did not clear up the blockage. I could tell I was still bloated and blocked and I still had hard painful areas when I massaged my colon. So i went back to irrigating. Tried doing it daily. Nope. I get some out, but not all. Still got that block. Irrigating now fails utterly, can't even get the water in. The bag stays mostly empty, a tiny turd now and then. But certainly not clearing up. Eating has gotten hard, I get nauseous really fast. Hot flashes are now hourly, except when I'm asleep when they're every 3 hours. I woke up at 3 am and coudln't get back to sleep. Between the indigestion, the hot flashes, and the leg cramps, it just wouldn't work. So I really feel crappy. I've decided to go liquid diet again till this is resolved. I've been eating pretty low bulk, but not low enough I guess. I'll have to bring it up with the doctor but they just don't get it. Having shit all over you every few days just isn't acceptable and that's what laxatives do. They cause shit to flow unpredictably and it ALWAYS pushes under the appliance when it does that. I can't stand this. I want to plan a trip next summer but it doesn't look too promising now. How do I get away from Dan if I'm always sick? How do I escape this empty life if I'm too sick? I don't feel like I have a life or a future or anyone to turn to.