that woman is a bitch.
I knew she was a bitch, just didn't understand how badly she was. I'm doing my social duty, volunteering my time and back ache to help a solo mother. She's working and raising a child. She's doing pretty damn good with it, has a home she bought, it's furnished, and they eat quality food. She manages to find time for socializing and trips home to the family or to festivals. So all in all, she's doing better than my married mother was raising us. But she's complaining about how she can't clean her home well enough. Hey, I can relate, I like a clean home. hers is easy to do because she's not as dirty as most modern humans. That's not to say it didn't need cleaning. So I volunteered to help out once a month. I've done it before, when she was sick.
Both times she wants to yap at me and so I oblige although this is more work than house cleaning for me. Well she starts in about how hard it is to raise a toddler. Again. And again. I respond with comments about how worthwhile it is, what a good job she's doing how great her kid is. But no, she still wants to go on about how hard it is. "Nobody knows how hard this is till you do it" she says. "oh," says I, "I knew, that's why I was very careful with birth control." Which is utterly true. Now she's defending motherhood and says not to speak "like that" (like how? ) in front of her kid. I saunter out with the tea to the back deck, saying "well you started saying how hard it was in front of him." When she comes out I try and talk about the fabric on the table, what a sweet kid he is, she starts complaining about how he won't go for his nap. He's demanding to nurse then stopping as soon as he starts. I say it looks like he's after control. No, she corrects me, nobody can know why, why analyze it (well because you asked why, actually) and I can't pipe up, can't get a word in edge wise. The complaining and correcting goes on and finally she starts telling me I have no empathy, no compassion. I need to develop compassion. Wait, what? I just fucking swept and mopped your floors for the sake of compassion and you want to bitch because I have no sympathy for your tired and petty whines?????? Well I just said the conversation wasn't comfortable and got up and said I'd be comfortable at home. More words were flung at me as I left all about prolonging the fight we were clearly having. Her needing to be morally, emotionally, and spiritually superior, me needing to just fuck off from this tyrannical juvenile bitch who got pregnant and thinks the whole world owes her it's tears.
I'm still so pissed. it's a hurtful thing to say.
I don't know how to deal with her next time, or if there will be one. Certainly I won't be cleaning her house again. I did send the parting shot "maybe next time someone comes over to be nice to you, you could show some patience." "What are you trying to say to me?" "nothing, I don't want to have this conversation!" and I left.
How dare she? Oh I know. She's that young and stupid and immature. I know that about her. I knew it going in. But I couldn't say anything, I couldnt' steer the conversation away from the whining, I couldn't explain why I didn't like whining, she just kept grabbing that conversation with her motherly authority and steering it right back to what a hard done woman she is and how cruel everyone else, including me, is.
As to catch-up for historical, I'm putting most of my time and energy into the bus. it's got a full paint job on the outside and most of the inside, so looking much nicer. I still want to paint stripes all over it for that plaid look, but need a week for the paint to set up. It may still peel under the tape, hard to say. Half the inside has walls, half is still studs and insulation. We've picked up some components for the electricals but not all of them. I've got the wires in but nothing attached to them yet. Dan has to pickup the starter mid-month and nothing else engine-wise has been done. He's not picking up his end very well, spending his free time laughing and swearing at the computer instead.
Oh yeah, I mentioned how I was wishing Dan did more on the bus, or something, I don't really know. I was just answering her question on how the bus is doing. Next thing you know, she's telling me "well you're doing this for yourself anyway" like that makes it trivial to other people. This woman is essentially implying that I'm whining about petty crap, then in the next paragraph of conversation is complaining about her son again, in front of said son. ARRGH.
Yeah, so I'm NOT complaining to anyone, I'm writing it down here where someone may read it, but I'm not getting sympathy or any other reward, I'm just getting it off my chest. That's what you do with petty complaints. Shut up and if you can't stop thinking about it, write it down somewhere. It's not conversation.
Health wise I'm doing pretty good. Muscle strength is returning. It's affected by the variations in my neuropathy. that is to say, when I eat what I shouldn't my fingers and toes hurt more and my legs get weak and ache bitterly. At those times squatting wrenches a moan from me every time. But I still squat, I need to regain that ability, it's important to me. Otherwise my health is just fine.
I was in for the colonoscopy that never got finished and the nurse was inquiring about medicine. She was so shocked when I told her I was not on any medicine at all. LOL that's one of my goals, you see, to live without medication. It pisses me off no end that I must buy colostomy supplies but even that I've got down to a much lower amount. Irrigation means I rarely have to change the bag liner. the liners mean I only change the bag when it's worn out. The only thing I still go through too much is the wafer, it tends to need to be replaced two or three times a week. So that's $15/wk I resent spending. Sleep has been difficult due to back aches and hot sweats, so I'm having a challenge with that.
Oh, my colon is extra long, they call it a "redundant colon" and I think that's fine since some of it got chopped off. I also learned that one of the vertebrae in my tailbone is fused, so that's why I often struggle with back ache. I remember when that happened. It was the winter of 1988 and I was out with my expensive new camera and tripod, taking time lapse pics. I was wearing my wooden shoes and slipped on a shiny rut in the road snow. Twisting to protect my camera with my body, my hands full, I landed hard on my tail bone. It hurt like a supernova going off. I treated it with herbs, catnip, white willow, alf alfa, and bone set. It hurt for some time but healed well enough.
All the pets are themselves. it's been a wickedly hot summer. I'm grateful to be back biking and doing things and making plans for my life.
but that woman? she's a bitch. I dont care if she figures it out. I don't believe she'll apologize well enough for me to try again. I'm so done with that crap.
Both times she wants to yap at me and so I oblige although this is more work than house cleaning for me. Well she starts in about how hard it is to raise a toddler. Again. And again. I respond with comments about how worthwhile it is, what a good job she's doing how great her kid is. But no, she still wants to go on about how hard it is. "Nobody knows how hard this is till you do it" she says. "oh," says I, "I knew, that's why I was very careful with birth control." Which is utterly true. Now she's defending motherhood and says not to speak "like that" (like how? ) in front of her kid. I saunter out with the tea to the back deck, saying "well you started saying how hard it was in front of him." When she comes out I try and talk about the fabric on the table, what a sweet kid he is, she starts complaining about how he won't go for his nap. He's demanding to nurse then stopping as soon as he starts. I say it looks like he's after control. No, she corrects me, nobody can know why, why analyze it (well because you asked why, actually) and I can't pipe up, can't get a word in edge wise. The complaining and correcting goes on and finally she starts telling me I have no empathy, no compassion. I need to develop compassion. Wait, what? I just fucking swept and mopped your floors for the sake of compassion and you want to bitch because I have no sympathy for your tired and petty whines?????? Well I just said the conversation wasn't comfortable and got up and said I'd be comfortable at home. More words were flung at me as I left all about prolonging the fight we were clearly having. Her needing to be morally, emotionally, and spiritually superior, me needing to just fuck off from this tyrannical juvenile bitch who got pregnant and thinks the whole world owes her it's tears.
I'm still so pissed. it's a hurtful thing to say.
I don't know how to deal with her next time, or if there will be one. Certainly I won't be cleaning her house again. I did send the parting shot "maybe next time someone comes over to be nice to you, you could show some patience." "What are you trying to say to me?" "nothing, I don't want to have this conversation!" and I left.
How dare she? Oh I know. She's that young and stupid and immature. I know that about her. I knew it going in. But I couldn't say anything, I couldnt' steer the conversation away from the whining, I couldn't explain why I didn't like whining, she just kept grabbing that conversation with her motherly authority and steering it right back to what a hard done woman she is and how cruel everyone else, including me, is.
As to catch-up for historical, I'm putting most of my time and energy into the bus. it's got a full paint job on the outside and most of the inside, so looking much nicer. I still want to paint stripes all over it for that plaid look, but need a week for the paint to set up. It may still peel under the tape, hard to say. Half the inside has walls, half is still studs and insulation. We've picked up some components for the electricals but not all of them. I've got the wires in but nothing attached to them yet. Dan has to pickup the starter mid-month and nothing else engine-wise has been done. He's not picking up his end very well, spending his free time laughing and swearing at the computer instead.
Oh yeah, I mentioned how I was wishing Dan did more on the bus, or something, I don't really know. I was just answering her question on how the bus is doing. Next thing you know, she's telling me "well you're doing this for yourself anyway" like that makes it trivial to other people. This woman is essentially implying that I'm whining about petty crap, then in the next paragraph of conversation is complaining about her son again, in front of said son. ARRGH.
Yeah, so I'm NOT complaining to anyone, I'm writing it down here where someone may read it, but I'm not getting sympathy or any other reward, I'm just getting it off my chest. That's what you do with petty complaints. Shut up and if you can't stop thinking about it, write it down somewhere. It's not conversation.
Health wise I'm doing pretty good. Muscle strength is returning. It's affected by the variations in my neuropathy. that is to say, when I eat what I shouldn't my fingers and toes hurt more and my legs get weak and ache bitterly. At those times squatting wrenches a moan from me every time. But I still squat, I need to regain that ability, it's important to me. Otherwise my health is just fine.
I was in for the colonoscopy that never got finished and the nurse was inquiring about medicine. She was so shocked when I told her I was not on any medicine at all. LOL that's one of my goals, you see, to live without medication. It pisses me off no end that I must buy colostomy supplies but even that I've got down to a much lower amount. Irrigation means I rarely have to change the bag liner. the liners mean I only change the bag when it's worn out. The only thing I still go through too much is the wafer, it tends to need to be replaced two or three times a week. So that's $15/wk I resent spending. Sleep has been difficult due to back aches and hot sweats, so I'm having a challenge with that.
Oh, my colon is extra long, they call it a "redundant colon" and I think that's fine since some of it got chopped off. I also learned that one of the vertebrae in my tailbone is fused, so that's why I often struggle with back ache. I remember when that happened. It was the winter of 1988 and I was out with my expensive new camera and tripod, taking time lapse pics. I was wearing my wooden shoes and slipped on a shiny rut in the road snow. Twisting to protect my camera with my body, my hands full, I landed hard on my tail bone. It hurt like a supernova going off. I treated it with herbs, catnip, white willow, alf alfa, and bone set. It hurt for some time but healed well enough.
All the pets are themselves. it's been a wickedly hot summer. I'm grateful to be back biking and doing things and making plans for my life.
but that woman? she's a bitch. I dont care if she figures it out. I don't believe she'll apologize well enough for me to try again. I'm so done with that crap.