more whining and a concern

So the concern is about a very long term acquaintance. She is being attentive and generous and I truly don't trust her. Now she sent me a card with $100 in it appropos of nothing. I feel like I might be in sights of a sociopath. I mean we have no bad history but I know her brother and that cat has clearly been her victim. It's in how they fight and he loses his temper instantly with her. Tolerates no bossing and she's always exasperated and apologetic. I never twigged onto it before because I didn't know enough. So while the money is welcome it also has stress attached.

Computer is down. I woke up to a crack through the digitizer screen. I may be able to use it if I can disable the digitizer in safe mode. Thing is I feel terrible today too. Yawning for no reason, dull brained, asthma is off the scales and the coughing has given me a massive headache and neck and shoulder ache and sore throat and chest pain. It's almost but not quite drowning out my usual lower back ache. It is mostly obscuring the hip, knee, ankle , foot, and hand pain that's been plaguing me. The hernia is also bitching after all the coughing. I also have been getting sneezing fits and congestion. I haven't missed my allergy pills or inhaler either. I know it's the black mold in the dressing room making the whole house toxic.

I can't complain to anyone because nobody tolerates me complaining and then because I stop they all seem to think I am Hale and hearty except for my mind and just seeking attention for my ego. 

So I don't bother seeking help anymore. I just complain to my invisible internet friends. Gets it off my chest.

Some days I really wonder if it will ever be better again.